


Rewoven Fealty

by User24601



Series: The Trials and Tribulations Series [4]
Category: Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Anal Sex, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Come Eating, Cunnilingus, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Nightmares, Oral Sex, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Sexual Assault, Police Procedural, Police Uniforms, Prostitution, Psychological Trauma, Rape, Rimming, Sibling Bonding, Spanking, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-09-15 14:47:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 38,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16935243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/User24601/pseuds/User24601
Summary: Part IVFor the better part of a year, Robert Goren had been a resident of a mental health institution as he dealt with the horrific ramifications of brutal psychological, physical, and sexual abuse. Now, just when it seems he's through the thick of it, another unexpected tribulation is thrown in his path. Will he be able to overcome it or will it lead to a never-ending cycle downwards?





	1. Capitulating Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> Reading Parts I, II, & III is highly recommended. Trust me, it's worth it.

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/138641398@N05/46255860601/in/dateposted-public/)

_Air?_

_Air!_

_“I can’t… I can’t breathe!”_

_Sensations of being pushed down by an invisible weight, both body and lungs struggling for breath and yet both were incapable of holding out against the burning pain._

_“Somebody help me!”_

_Darkness rushed in on either side, engulfing the thrashing soul and dragging it into unknown depths that could only be described as the depths of hell itself._

_“Help!”_

_In the eerie darkness, not a singular noise could be heard. Both light and sound were snuffed out by the dark. Feeling rather than seeing something swirling around and pushing its way into a mouth gasping for air, the figure was suffocating._

_Extinguishing all hope._

_“ Please, someone... anyone… help!”_

Bolting upright and gasping in gulps of air, Katherine Elizabeth found herself still engulfed in an inky blackness.

“Hey, love,” came the soothing and calming tone of Mr. Jones, followed by a gentle caress of his hand on her upper arm and the brush of his lips. Jerking back, she was still breathing heavily as she attempted to recover from what her mind only now realized was a nightmare.

“ _Shhhh,”_ Colin used. “You’re alright. It was just a bad dream.”

“No,” Basil mumbled, her heart racing. The sensations were not subsiding as they continued to convey a sense of danger. “Something’s not right.”

Pulling back the covers, she stumbled out of Colin’s bed and towards the bathroom. Fumbling with the knob in a sleep-addled haze, she finally got the door open before stepping in and closing it behind her. Flicking on the switch, she winced as her eyes adjusted to the sudden change in light.

As she glanced at herself in the mirror, the young woman was slightly taken aback at her naked reflection. Her hair was disheveled and her makeup mostly rubbed off or smeared. She was quite the sight. Twisting the handle of the faucet, Katherine Elizabeth let the water run for a second as she watched the stream swirl down the drain.

It had been a nightmare; that much was clear. However, it had been far different from the ones she was accustomed to having. This one had been so real. And, unlike her dreams of Father and Daddy, the panic this one induced was not dissipating. It lingered in the air around her and she still felt like she had trouble breathing.

Picking up a towel from the cold tile floor, she dipped the end into the stream of water before wiping what remained of her makeup off of her face. Once satisfied she no longer resembled a raccoon, Basil bent over and took a drink straight from the tap.

A light knock at the door told her that Colin, too, was out of bed.

“Katherine Elizabeth,” he called through the thin plywood door, “you okay in there? What time is it?”

Glancing around, Basil spied a clock on the wall. It read 7:13. Doubting they’d slept well into the evening, she figured the two of them hadn’t been resting long. Colin had accompanied her to a party the previous evening and they hadn’t gotten back to his place until the early hours of the morning. And even then, they had stayed up even later, exploring each other’s bodies in the dark.

“Miss Basil?” Colin called again. This time she could hear the worry in his voice. “Babe?”

“Shit! Colin,” she swore, too exacerbated by her nightmare to care about her use of vulgarity. “Don’t call me ‘babe.’ I am _not_ your girlfriend.”

“I’m sorry. Are you coming back to bed? I don’t think we’ve slept more than an hour or two.”

Truthfully, she’d like nothing better than to crawl back into bed and snuggle with the man on the other side of the door. The feeling of his bare bottom nestled against her hips while she possessively draped her arm across his body while they were asleep had become one of her favorite things. Even more so when her hand drifted down and grasped ahold of his delicious cock.

“No,” Katherine Elizabeth answered, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. “I’ve got to go. Can you just get me my clothes and hand them to me?”

“Sure thing, love.”

Rolling her eyes, Basil wondered about the British stereotype of having a ‘stiff-upper-lip’ and yet here was Colin using terms of endearments in what seemed to her to be excessive amounts.

A few moments later, she emerged from the bathroom, as presentable as she could make herself in the limited amount of time she had. She needed to leave. There was something wrong and there was no way she’d get any sleep now.

For his part, Colin had pulled on a pair of plaid boxers and a gray t-shirt.

“Are you sure you want to leave?” he queried, his arms crossed. “I’d like it if you stayed.”

Brushing him off, she muttered, “I’ve just got this feeling. I have to go. I’ll … um… I’ll text you.”

With that parting remark, she left. Caught up in the moment as she was, she didn’t even remember to pay the man for his services. Darting out of the escort’s apartment and down the steps, Katherine Elizabeth’s only thought was catching a cab and getting over to the Basil Institute as quickly as possible.

***

Taking an early breakfast with the over-night supervisor as the two of them went over the night notes, Everett Fray glanced around the mess hall.

“Where’s Goren this morning?” Fray inquired. “He’s usually one of the first ones down here.”

Shrugging, the supervisor replied, “I saw him head out to the courtyard about twenty minutes ago.”

“Yes but still, it’s not like him not to be back in here by now.”

“Want me to send one of the aides to go get him?”

“No. I’m sure he’s fine. But it’s going to bother me not to know why he’s not here. I’ll just go check on him quick.”

“Okay,” the supervisor returned with a shrug. The man was at the end of his shift and clearly lacked the energy to really care about a typically well-behaved patient’s absence.

A minute later, Fray found himself stepping out into the garden and glancing around for Goren. Initially, nothing stuck out to him as unusual, that was until he took a quick stroll down the path and caught the slightly lingering scent of cigarette smoke.

“Robert!” Fray shouted as his eyes fell upon the inert form lying prone upon the ground.

Running over to his patient, Fray fell to his knees and turned the man over onto his back. Seeing blood smeared across the patient’s lips, he feared the worst.

His medical training kicking in, the psychiatrist yelled for assistance as he checked first for a pulse, which was there but weak. Then looking for signs of breathing, Fray found none and so tilted Goren’s head back and verified the man’s airway was clear.

Ideally, one would have a mouth guard before attempting CPR. Fray, however, didn’t have the luxury of having one on hand and he wasn’t about to let a patient die on his watch. Particularly not this patient. Besides, Goren had been tested back in Chicago for communicable diseases and had been given a clean bill of health.

So, despite his doubts, the psychiatrist began to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation. Alerted by the director’s call, the Institute’s staff quickly leaped to action and emergency services soon arrived on scene.

Once the paramedics got there, the situation progressed quickly. Stepping back to let the professionals work, Fray ran the back of his hand across his mouth as to rid himself of the taste of blood and cigarettes that lingered on his lips.

“Petechiae hemorrhaging. He was straining to breathe,” one of the paramedics noted as he crouched behind Goren’s head and checked the responsiveness of Goren’s pupils. A few seconds later, the man was sticking a scope down the patient’s throat. Checking that it was in the right position, he inserted a length of clear plastic tubing and attached a respirator bag.

“Alright,” said the other paramedic to his partner manually pumping air into the patient’s lungs. “You keep bagging him. I’ll grab the board. We need to load him onto the stretcher.”

All Fray could do was stand to the side and watch as the paramedics got Goren onto a stretcher and strapped him down. As they rolled out the doors, the director was close behind. Scrambling into the ambulance right after Goren was loaded inside, Fray prayed that he wasn’t about to lose this patient. Goren had been through so much and had come so far, it would be a tragedy if he died now.

The rear doors slammed shut and the driver flipped on the siren as he pulled away from the curb with a screech. As the ambulance hurdled down the street, Everett reached out and clasped his hand around Goren’s. Hoping that somehow, by sheer force of will, that he could fix whatever it was that had befallen the former detective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so begins the fourth installment of the Trials and Tribulations series. In the end, this will be a 5 part series. If you are interested in reading it in its entirety, then be sure to subscribe to the series and not just this story. Thank You!


	2. Breathless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr. Everett Fray has to contend with the changing medical status of a patient.

“Everett!” Miss Basil called as she approached the director in the hospital hallway. “What the hell?!”

“Calm down, Miss Basil,” Fray directed as he caught sight of the proprietor. While it wouldn’t be accurate to describe her appearance to be in a state of disarray, she did look very different with barely a trace of make-up and without her hair curled and neatly arrayed.

_“How had she found out so quickly? It’s been less than an hour._ ”

One thing was for sure, he needed to placate the proprietor. Not the easiest task considering his own feelings of concern and trepidation.

“The doctors are attending to Goren as we speak and I’m sure he’s going to be fine. Okay? Here,” the director insisted as he took her gently by the arm and led her to a sitting area. Once he had her seated he positioned himself next to her and tried his best to waylay her fears.

“What did the doctors say? Did you tell them Bobby has a drug intolerance? If they give him anything—“

“I told them. They know. They’ve got him on a ventilator and his oxygen stats are returning to normal. Though the doctors say it’s too soon to tell if there has been any permeant damage. If he doesn’t wake up soon, they’ll be sending him upstairs for an MRI.”

“How did this happen, Everett?” Basil insisted. “Bobby’s supposed to be released in few days. I got to the institute and the staff said he wasn’t breathing. That you had an ambulance called and brought him here. They said … they said Bobby tried to kill himself.”

The level was the young woman’s concern was palpable and left her practically breathless. Observing this, Fray paused for a thoughtful moment before replying.

“It’s a possibility.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Katherine Elizabeth replied with a determined shake of her head. “I _know_ he wouldn’t do that. He hasn’t shown any signs of being suicidal for months.”

“And I’m not saying he is suicidal. But what’s clear is he is here due to his own actions and not by some accident.”

This answer was met with a cold hard stare as Basil insisted on more information.

“What did he do?”

“He managed to get his hands on a packet of cigarettes.”

“Cigarettes? Bobby doesn’t smoke,” Katherine Elizabeth asked incredulously before making a statement that was full of denial. Clearly, she was having a hard time digesting what she was being told.

“It’s in his medical history,” Fray explained.“Though I assumed he quit a number of years ago.”

“But, Everett, the nicotine… too much of it and he’d … his lungs wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

Fray shrugged, “I’m not a physician so my knowledge is limited in that area but I would not be surprised if you were correct.”

“Why would he do that? Do you think he didn’t know what would happen?”

“Again, Miss Basil, I don’t know. Anything I postulated would just be conjecture at this point.”

***

The persistent beeping of the machines and the tightness in his chest slowly brought Bobby back into consciousness. His eyes fluttered beneath his lids as he grappled with his situation. Having his lips pried apart as rigid tubing snaked down his throat was a nasty way to wake up.

But he was awake, which meant he wasn’t dead.

_Thank the Lord._

As exhausted as he was, it was challenging raising his hand to his face and feeling around where the medical device was secured. It was so uncomfortable and he wanted to be rid of it. It was a thousand times worse than that nasal-gastric feeding tube he had been stuck with for so long.

“Whoa there, chief,” a feminine voice challenged. A firm hand clasped his wrist and pulled it away from his face. “You’ve got to leave that in place. Your O2 stats aren’t where we want them to be yet. But you hold still for just a second and I’ll go get the doctor.”

“ _Where am I_?” Bobby wondered. “ _This isn’t the institute. This must be a hospital. Oh shit, I’m in a hospital again._ ”

The next second he heard a small commotion as someone quickly entered the room.

“Bobby!” Katherine Elizabeth quietly shrieked as she ran up to the bed and placed each of her hands on either side of his head. “I’m here. You’re okay. I’m here.”

Finding the strength to briefly open his eyes, Goren’s gaze immediately latched on to that of his sister’s as he reached up and pulled her face down towards his so that their foreheads touched. Tears of relief trickled down his cheeks.

“ _Ahem_ ,” came the sound of a man clearing his throat in the background.

“ _Oh, fuck. Fray’s here._ ”

Feeling cool fingers brush the tears away from his face, Bobby looked back up at Basil.

The sounds of another person entering the room preceded her return to an upright position and Bobby’s gaze shifted to a young man with dark hair and wearing a white coat had entered the room.

“I see our patient is awake. I’m Doctor Cooper. Now if you don’t mind I just need to do a quick assessment.”

***

“So,” Dr. Cooper announced as he stepped out of the room to talk to Dr. Fray and Miss Basil, “good news is that I don’t see any signs of brain damage. No cognitive or physical deficiencies, well besides his lungs that is.

“Bad news is the smoke has irritated the alveoli, making it hard for him to breathe. Normally, we’d keep him on a ventilator until his lungs recover but that would necessitate the need for him to remain sedated or in a medically induced coma. But since he has drug intolerance syndrome we can’t do because we run the serious risk of him pulling out the tubing before it’s safe for him to try breathing on his own.”

“Why do you think he’ll pull it out?” Basil inquired.

“The tubing is bulky and invasive, not to mention really uncomfortable. For a patient to want to pull it out is not only natural but it’s also expected. However, if we can get him moved up to the burn unit, I have an idea. If you’ll excuse me.”

Turning on his heel, Cooper walked away without another word leaving Fray and Basil rather perplexed.

Fray, who had been standing rock still with his arms folded, let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding and his posture relaxed considerably.

Rolling his eyes he said, “Well, I better go in there and speak with Goren. I need to assess his mental status.”

“He’s fine,” Basil interjected. “He’s a bit shaken but overall he’s relieved.”

“And how would you know that?” Fray inquired.

In his experience, it was better to keep his expectations pragmatic before making assumptions about the state of a patient. Why Miss Basil was able to make such assertions was beyond him.

With a shrug, Katherine Elizabeth replied, “I just do.”

“Well, if you don’t mind, Miss Basil, I’ll make that judgment for myself. I am, after all, a certified psychiatrist.”

“Be my guest,” she responded with a wave of her hand. “But I’m right about this.”

Exasperated, Fray groaned and marched into the room where Goren was lying perfectly still on the hospital bed, the ventilator beside him pushing air in and out of his lungs.

“Hey, Robert,” Fray said as he approached and took Goren’s hand in his own. “I just want to do a real quick assessment before the doctor gets back. Tap once for yes and twice for no.”

He was answered by a single tap.

“Very good. Now, is your name Robert Goren?”

_Single tap._

“Do you live in Brooklyn, New York?”

_Single tap._

“Do you know who I am?”

_Single tap._

“Well, from what I can tell, it seems like Dr. Cooper was correct in his assessment of your cognitive capacity. It doesn’t look like you suffered any brain damage from oxygen deprivation. Which means you weren’t out for more than a few minutes before I found you. Now, what happened in the garden? Did you try and hurt yourself?”

_Firm double tap._

“Did you know that smoking would have a dangerous effect on your ability to breathe?”

_Double tap._

“Did you think, at the very least, that you might have a negative reaction to the nicotine?”

There was a long pause this time before Goren replied with a single tap.

“Then why did you do it?”

“That’s not a yes or no question,” Basil interrupted from the sidelines. She had followed the director into the room and had been observing the exchange.

“Katherine Elizabeth,” Fray grumbled, “I don’t need your input right now.”

Ignoring Fray’s assertion, she added, “Ask him if he did it because he was anxious or stressed.”

Glancing over at Goren, Fray’s eyes connected with the other man’s and Goren gave a firm single tap. And then moving his free hand up to his chest, Robert rubbed it with a closed fist. _Sorry_.

“You don’t need to be sorry,” the directed soothed, “stress is to be expected during times of transition. The important thing is that you’re going to be okay.”

“No,” Basil stated as she approached the bed. “The important thing is that you don’t do it again. You scared Everett and me half to death. You do it again and I’ll kill you myself.”


	3. Begrudging Acquiescence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby undergoes specialized treatment for the damage to his lungs and figures now is as good as time as any to get back in touch with his former partner.

Shuffling down the steps of her precinct, Lieutenant Alexandra Eames reluctantly fumbled in her pocket for her vibrating cell phone. Certain that is was a message from one of her subordinates, a slight frown creased her face. As it was the end of the day, she didn’t relish the idea of having to turn back around and go back inside to handle yet another crisis. 

Unlocking the device, she flipped to her messages and opened a text from an unfamiliar number.

Goren. Brooklyn Presbyterian Hospital. Room 403.   


Her heart dropped.

Ever since her former partner told her not to come back, she had done her best to avoid even thinking about the man. Bobby had made a choice and the least she could do was respect it. Still, not knowing how he was doing made her heart ache. She did take what little comfort she could in knowing that Everett Fray was a good and decent man. He’d be sure to keep an eye on her friend, even if she couldn’t.

But this, this changed everything in an instant. And as much as she wished she could just dump all the drama that came along with being Goren’s friend, she knew she didn’t stand a chance. The ties that connected them were too strong to ever be severed.

With a heavy sigh, Eames got into her car and headed to Brooklyn

*** 

The Hispanic male sitting outside of room 403 was obviously acting as some sort of guard. Upon seeing the Lieutenant approaching, he quickly stood and got between her and the door.

“Lieutenant Eames,” Hernandez stalled, “I see you got my text message. How’ve you been?”

“Enough with the chit chat,” Eames replied. “What’s happened to Bobby? Why is he in the burn unit? Where is Dr. Fray?”

“Mr. Goren is alright. He’s just recovering from some minor smoke inhalation. And Dr. Fray is back at the Institute since there was little use in him being here now that the patient is stable.”

“Good to know,” Eames responded tersely, as she tried to push past the orderly.

Stopping her with a cautious hand on her upper arm, Hernandez said, “Dr. Fray left me with strict instructions not to allow the two of you in the same room.”

“I don’t understand. Why would you message me if Dr. Fray didn’t want Bobby and me in the same room?

“No, I mean you and _her_.”

“Who are you talk— oh, _her_. She’s in there with him? Isn’t she?”

“Miss Basil volunteered to keep an eye on him. I’m only here as back up.”

“Then why bother sending me the text message if you’re not going to let me in?”

“Robert asked me to.”

“Why didn’t he ask her? The bitch has a phone doesn’t she?”

Glancing back over his shoulder through the open door into the hospital room, Hernandez replied, “It seems Miss Basil was up rather late last night and then came to the hospital early this morning. She... well she crashed... fell asleep in his room about an hour ago.”

Peering past the man, Eames saw Katherine Elizabeth slouched in an overstuffed chair, her head leaned off to the side and her legs drawn up and tucked underneath her. The young woman was clearly out cold. 

“If Bobby’s been here since this morning, why didn’t he ask for me sooner?”

“He was probably working up the nerve,” Hernandez replied. “Tell you what. If you promise not to wake her, I’ll let you go in and talk with him. Deal?”

“Sure,” Eames huffed. “Deal.”

Finally pushing past the Institute’s aide, she walked into the room. 

Seeing Bobby for the first time in months was emotional enough as it was. However, seeing him encased in some sort of long horizontal cylindrical chamber completely caught her off guard.

As she approached the large medical encasement, she could see him shifting around on the thin mattress. It wasn’t until she was almost upon him that he finally noticed her. 

Once he realized she was there, he placed his hand flat against the clear casing as if he was reaching out for her. The rather endearing gesture brought a small smile to her lips, though tinged with a bit of sadness. As plain as day, she couldn’t help to notice that he still bore the long thick scar of a suicide attempt on his wrist of his extended hand. Tangible evidence of all the horrors he had endured in Chicago. And now, given his admittance to yet another hospital, would he constantly be mired in adversity?

Motioning for her to come around to the other side, Goren pointed at what looked like a telephone receiver attached to the side of the pod.

Picking it up, Eames held the cold plastic device against her ear and waited for Bobby to talk.

“Hey,” he said, “thank you for coming.”

“Bobby, I —“

“Please, Eames,” Goren interrupted, his speech somewhat halted as he labored to breathe. “Whatever you’re going to say. Just know that I am really sorry for what I said. Back in February. I didn’t mean it. I shouldn’t have said it. There’s no excuse.”

“You know, you didn’t have to land yourself in a hospital to get my attention. You could’ve just called and apologized over the phone, you know?”

“I know but… I figured it was best to do it in person.”

Noticing the sheepish expression on his face, she oscillated between irritation and empathy.

Favoring him with an exasperated look she pushed, “In person, huh? What did you think you were going to do? Break out again and just show up at my office or on my doorstep? I don’t know about you, Bobby. But with you being in this thing, it’s almost like we’re not even in the same room. What is this thing anyway?”

“It’s a hyperbaric oxygen therapy chamber. It speeds up healing and helps to re-oxygenate the blood by increasing the pressure and forcing oxygen into the tissue. It’s also like being in an airplane and not being able to get your ears to pop. It’s kinda uncomfortable and you run the risk of static electricity building up hence why,” at this, he pulled his other wrist up to show her, “I have a tether to keep me grounded. But on the plus side, I got my ankle monitor taken off.”

Hearing him rattle off obscure information about medical equipment, Eames suppressed a smirk and a roll of her eyes. The way he was talking, how his eyes lit up, and the tug of a smile at his lips: all of these quirks reminded her of the man who was once her partner for over a decade. 

“It looks like some alien stasis pod,” she wryly stated. Though at the same time, she could not help but be concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay in there? I know you don’t like tight spaces.”

Bobby shrugged, “It’s better than being on a ventilator. Besides, being in here is child’s play compared to... Well, you know. Compared to the closet —“

With a wave of her hand, Eames cut him off.

“I understand, Bobby. There’s no need to say it. Anyway, what did you do to land yourself here? Hernandez said something about smoke inhalation.”

“I ... uh... found some cigarettes and smoked a few. I didn’t realize that the nicotine would prevent me from being able to exhale all the smoke I was breathing into my lungs. Stupid, I know, but I learned my lesson.”

“You act like it’s not a big deal,” Eames scolded.

“I’m just relieved I managed to convince Fray it wasn’t on purpose. The last thing I need is for anyone to think I’m suicidal.”

“I’m glad you’re not. Still, it’s not going to make things easier for you when you get back to the Institute.”

A short pause punctuated his next sentence.

“I’m not going back.”

“What?” Eames asked incredulously, caught off guard by Bobby’s last statement. “What do you mean you’re not going back?”

“I’m not going back to the Basil Institute. I’m being discharged.”

“Bobby,” she replied warily, “are you sure you’re ready for that? Besides where else would you go?”

“I’m… um… going to be crashing at a friend’s place for a while.”

Her brow crinkling in confusion, Eames inquired further, “What friend?”

Instead of answering, Bobby merely cast his eyes in the direction of the sleeping form on the chair across the way.

“What?!” 

The lieutenant was frankly gobsmacked by the mere idea. 

“ _Shhh_ ,” Goren hushed her. “Not so loud. Please don’t wake her up.”

“Bobby,” Eames hissed into the receiver, “you can’t possibly be serious. I’m not going to allow you do to that.”

“Alex,” he replied calmly, “I’m not asking.”

“But she’s —“

“No, stop. Whatever you’re going to say, just stop. Okay? You’re better than that, Eames. Honestly, it boggles my mind how you can look at her and not see the same person I see.”

This peaked Eames interest. It was almost as if she was having flashbacks of the man she had once known to be one of New York’s finest detectives. 

“What do you see, Bobby?”

Crinkling his forehead in confusion, Goren asked, “Eames, do you not know what she has done for us? She got us out of Chicago. 

“ _Ah_!” he stopped his former partner from interrupting. 

“You had no exit strategy and you know it. You were completely stressed out and that was a major reason why. It wasn’t until Fray showed up that you were able to get things sorted out. Who do you think sent Fray? Or did you think he came of his own accord? Who do you think made sure you had a keycard so you could visit me whenever? It certainly wasn’t Fray. He’s a stickler for the rules. Who do you think kept pushing me to start talking, especially to you? And last but not least, who do you think told me off for pushing you away after that incident in the lobby?”

“You’re kidding,” she blurted. But at the same time, she felt doubt about her set opinion of Katherine Elizabeth knaw at the back of her mind. 

“I most definitely am not, Eames. Do you really want to know what I see when I look at her? I see an orphan who has lost everyone she’s ever loved and has been trying her best to make it on her own for years. I see someone who uses aggression as a defensive mechanism because she has been hurt so badly in the past.”

Disbelief crisscrossed the lieutenant’s face as she attempted to see the situation from Goren’s perspective.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.”

“And why would someone like her be interested in helping you? In letting you into her home?”

“Oh, Eames, what does she have to lose by helping me? I’m already broken.”

“You’re not broken,” she vehemently contradicted him.

“Alex, the fact that I’m even here, talking to you, is a miracle in and of itself. You act as though I didn’t constantly close myself off from you when we were partners. I pushed and pulled you in whatever direction I wanted to go, with little regard to your status as the senior detective. I always took the lead and left you behind to pick up the pieces.”

“That’s not entirely true.”

“But it is,” he replied in earnest. “And it’s the reason we fell apart after we both transferred out of major case. And I’m sorry about that, so sorry, you have no idea.”

“Bobby... It’s not your fault.”

“No, it is, or at least partially. And that’s how you can know I’ve changed because I’m fully capable of taking ownership for myself and my actions. Especially when it comes to our friendship because you are that important to me, Eames. Even when things were so bad that I wanted to kill myself, I still valued our friendship above anything else.”

“What do you mean? Bobby, I let you down. I wasn’t the one that found you in Chicago.”

“No, but you were there with me. Just not in the conventional sense.”

“Okay...? I’m not sure what you mean by that but —“

“The penguin, the one they gave me. Do you know what I named it? I named it after you and it was like you were there for me the whole time. Every night, after they had finished using me and I was all alone, that silly plush penguin was there to dry my tears and provide what little comfort she could.”

Eames was at a loss for words. She was deeply touched by the sentiment Bobby was expressing but it was not only that. She had never heard him talk about the men who hurt him so openly and without a trace of fear in his voice. It reminded her of how the briefest of mentions of them had sent him into a spiraling panic less than a year ago, back when she and Dr. Charles had brought back “his penguin” to him. Maybe Bobby was right. Maybe he had changed and recovered enough to be out on his own again.

“ _But he’s not going to be on his own, is he_?” She thought as she glanced up and looked over at the young proprietor, still sound asleep in her chair.

“Bobby,” she voiced cautiously into the receiver, “I am glad that my memory gave you comfort when you needed it most. And I am happy to continue to support you in whatever way I can. But if you really want to be discharged then you can come live with me. You don’t need to rely on the charity of someone who barely knows you.”

“Eames, listen to me. Your opinion matters more to me than anyone else. But coming to live with you would be taxing, and don’t try and say that it wouldn’t be that way. You have a full-time demanding job and an extended family of your own. Katherine Elizabeth, on the other hand, has an empty guest room, is within walking distance of the Institute. Consequently, going in for outpatient sessions will be accomplished with ease. And not to mention, she doesn’t have an actual job. I wouldn’t be an imposition. If anything, I’ll give her life some much-needed structure.”

“It sounds like you’re trying to fix her.”

“I need to occupy my time somehow.”

“Occupy your time with someone who is worth the effort.”

“I know you don’t trust her and I’m not asking you to. But you can trust me. That young woman is not dangerous nor does she have any ill-intent. Dislike her all you want, I know she doesn’t exactly inspire feelings of goodwill. I don’t care. But please don’t come between us because I don’t want to have to choose you over her. But at the same time, don’t let my friendship with you dwindle just because I want to be friends with someone I met at a mental institution.”

Eames scoffed, “If I recall correctly, you have a very eclectic circle of friends. A mental institution is probably not the strangest place you’ve made someone’s acquaintance.”

Bobby smiled.

Bobby smiled that soft, knowing smile she had come so used to seeing during their years as partners. A smile that communicated trust, friendship, loyalty, and a host of other intangible ideals. It occurred to her, at that moment, that she was seeing it for the first time since his rescue.

“ _Maybe he really is his old self again_ ,” she wondered.

And just like his old self, he was leading her to the conclusions he wanted her to make. Treating her almost like a suspect he wanted to lure into a confession. Eames honestly didn’t know whether she should be annoyed or delighted by his efforts.

“Fine, Bobby,” she remarked dryly. “Just don’t expect me to be happy about it.”

“Thank you.”

“Because I’m really not happy,” she insisted for good measure. “And don’t expect me to hold my tongue. If Katherine Elizabeth steps out of line, I am going to put her in her place. I don’t care if she is the Queen of Sheba. She’s not above reprimand.”

“I agree. Just back me up here. Okay?”

“And here I thought you weren’t asking for permission,“ Eames teased. "I already said yes once. Don’t make me say it again or I might change my mind.”

Goren’s face lit up in a wide grin and he was clearly certain he had gotten his way. Though, at least he had the common sense not to gloat.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting these new chapters. I keep getting distracted by side projects.


	4. Provisional Release

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last stop at the Institute and then Bobby takes up residence with his sister.

If impressing doctors was a superpower, then Robert Goren was practically a superhero. _Impressed_ : he kept hearing that word over and over again, repeated by at least half a dozen medical professionals. They were all very impressed with not only his recovery time but also by the fact that he didn’t seem to have any lasting effects from the little incident.

Once it was determined that his lung strength and capacity were well within the normal range, Goren was cleared to be discharged. He wasn’t even required to use a wheelchair while exiting the hospital. They simply let him walk out, that was after Dr. Fray had signed the requisite paperwork, of course. Apparently, for the time being, he was still a ward of the institute.

“Alright,” Fray said as the two men stepped out into the outside world, “my car is this way. I’m going to give you a ride back to the institute where Lieutenant Eames is planning to meet us. You two can pack up your room while I get the discharge paperwork drawn up. Then she will take you to your new residence and get you settled in for the evening. I will be checking on you at the end of the night and again in the morning.”

“That’s not entirely necessary,” Bobby replied as they walked to the director’s vehicle. “You don’t need to do wellness checks more than once in a 24 hour period.”

“Robert, you just got released from the hospital. I’ll check up on you as often as I please. That is unless you’d like to stay at the Institute for observation for the next few days. Or maybe I’ll just put off getting those discharge papers in order.”

“Fine,” Goren relented. “I just think it’s overkill but you’re the boss. We’ll do it your way.”

“ _Hmpff_ ,” Fray huffed as he unlocked the car.

The ride back to the institute was uneventful and before he knew it, he was back in his room with Eames, for the last time.

She had been sitting on his bed, waiting for him, paging through one of the books she had read him. This particular one had a green cover.

“Those go back to the library,” Goren noted as he stepped into the room. “We can just leave them on the end table and one of the aides will collect them.”

“I should have brought a suitcase for you,” Eames said. “But I didn’t think of it so we’ll just have to make do with a couple cardboard boxes I snagged from Fray’s secretary.”

“It’s fine,” Bobby said as he went over to the wall and removed the framed photos and handed them to Eames. “It’s not like I have much to pack anyway.”

A box full of personal effects and a box full of clothes: that was all there was to pack. Eames has taken the lighter of the two boxes and Bobby the other. Perched on top of his box, was his plush penguin. There was no way he was leaving her behind.

As he and Eames descended to the main floor in the elevator, Bobby looked over at his former partner and feelings of gratitude and appreciation threatened to overwhelm him.

“Eames,” he said quietly, “thank you. I don’t know how I could do this without you.”

“Don’t mention it,” she replied, as she gave him a soft smile.

Nostalgia wasn’t quite the right word to articulate the way he was feeling as he and Eames walked down the hallway and entered the lobby, however, he felt something akin to it. Glancing around at the polished marble, ornate furnishing, and the large framed portrait of the Institute’s founder, it stuck Bobby how familiar he had become with the place, not at all like he had felt that first day as they had wheeled him inside eight months earlier.

“Doctor Fray is waiting for you in his office,” the receptionist announced as they approached the raised desk. “If you want you can leave those boxes here while you sign the papers. I’ll keep an eye on them.”

“Um…” Goren stammered. “Okay. Thanks.”

“My pleasure, Mr. Goren,” the receptionist replied.

Eames led the way to the director’s office, the door was open wide and the pair of them walked inside to join Fray in addition to Woods and Taylor, who were also in the room.

“Alright,” Fray declared, his typical stern expression turned slightly affable. “It’s time. Come sign these papers and you are officially discharged.”

Without hesitation, the former detective crossed over to the desk and took the pen Fray had extended to him. Grasping the writing utensil firmly in his left hand, Bobby scrawled his name next to the yellow indicator tabs that had been placed strategically thoroughly the document.

As he handed the pen back to Fray, the others in the room broke out into quiet applause.

Woods, in her frumpy yet comfortable sweater, approached him and handed him an envelope and a small box before leaning in and giving him a hug, the curls of her gray hair tickling the underside of his chin.

“We couldn’t let you go without a proper send-off. Congratulations, Robert. You did it. We are so proud of you.”

Hearing those words made him blush with emotion and Goren couldn’t help but feel a pleasant sense of accomplishment.

Taylor was next, his hand extended to shake hands. The ardent smile on his face slightly suppressed as he attempted to keep his countenance professional.

Despite planning and knowing ahead of time what was going to happen, this transition was unexpectedly emotional for Goren. By the time he had made his farewells and stepped out of the building and onto the sidewalk with Eames, he was holding back happy tears. Part of him didn’t want to leave.

“ _Don’t be silly_ ,” he told himself, “ _you still have plenty of outpatient sessions to attend. You’ll be back_.”

“You ready?” Eames asked as they loaded the boxes into the trunk of her car.

“Yeah,” Bobby answered as he picked Miss Alex out of the trunk and tucked the penguin under his arm. “Let’s go. We don’t want to keep Katherine Elizabeth waiting.”

Eames rolled her eyes, “No, we wouldn’t want that.”

“She promised to be on her best behavior,” Goren responded as he folded himself into the passenger seat. “And I told her that if she stepped out of line that you would be more than happy to slap a pair of cuffs on her.”

Snorting, Eames laughed as she pulled away from the curb, “Watch me. I’ll do just that.”

A few minutes later, the former partners found themselves in front of the Basil Brownstone. Katherine Elizabeth was sitting on the steps, fiddling with a small object in her hand. Bobby was the first one out of the vehicle and when his sister saw him, she broke out a wide grin and flounced over to wrap her arms around her brother in a big hug.

“I’m so glad you’re here! How did it feel getting discharged? Did they do that thing were they clap you out? Did you—“

“Can I get some assistance over here?” Eames interrupted as she lifted the tailgate of her vehicle.

“Sure thing,” Bobby quickly answered, handing the items Woods had given him and Miss Alex over to Katherine Elizabeth.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, Lieutenant Eames,” Katherine Elizabeth called over to the older woman. As Basil clearly preferring to keep her distance, she did not rush over to offer her assistance.

Eames gave a derisive snort but held her tongue.

“If you’ll follow me,” Katherine Elizabeth directed once they had gotten everything out of the vehicle. Leading the way, she ascended the steps to the door and held it open.

Once inside, the trio made their way to the second floor and into the spare bedroom directly off the stairs.

Stepping in, Bobby wondered who had cleaned. The once dusty room had been aired out and the hardwood floors shone with a fresh finish. A full-size bed with a matching nightstand were the only furnishings. But there was a large walk-in closet off to the right.

“I figured we could wait until you settled in to do some decorating,” Katherine Elizabeth declared. “There’s a bunch of oldstuff you can rummage through down in the basement, or we can do some shopping if you’re not opposed to the idea.”

“Sure thing, kiddo,” Goren replies absentmindedly as he glanced around the room, taking in his new surrounds.

“Your bathroom is down the hall, first door on your left. There are fresh towels in there and other toiletries. My room is all the way down the hall. I have my own en-suite bathroom so you don’t have to worry about having to share yours with me.”

“What’s on the third floor?” Eames inquired.

“That’s ... uh… my grandfather’s old room and his office slash library.”

“Oh?” Eames pushed. “Why didn’t you clear out that room for Bobby? Would’ve given both of you more privacy. Not to mention that it would be a more decent arrangement than to be living on the same floor as your tenant.”

Katherine Elizabeth’s brow wrinkled for just a second and Bobby worried she might snap at the lieutenant.

“I didn’t think of that,” Basil replied smoothly. “Bobby isn’t exactly a tenant. He’s my guest so I naturally wanted him to have the guest room. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’ll leave the two of you alone. Let Bobby get settled in without me hovering around.”

She had turned to leave but, upon remembering something, turned on her heel, approaching Bobby and pressing something into his hand.

Looking down into his palm, Goren found it was a small brass house key.When he looked back up, Katherine Elizabeth had already left the room.

“What did she give you?” Eames asked, her head tilted up as she peered into his hand.

“A house key.”

“Oh. Well, that was thoughtful,” Eames remarked as she walked over and picked up the penguin Katherine Elizabeth had placed on the bed. “You sure you’re going to be okay here, Bobby?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I dunno. I just worry about you, I guess. Katherine Elizabeth seems eager to please. I thought it was rather odd that she didn’t correct you when you called her ‘kiddo’ though.”

“I did? Huh. I guess I didn’t notice.”

“I suppose I should be relieved. Just means you see her as a kid rather than ...”

“Rather than what?

“Rather than an attractive young woman.”

“Eames, don’t go there.”

“You’re sharing living quarters with her, it’s bound to come up eventually.”

“And I’ll handle it when it does. Okay?”

“Okay. Well, in the meantime, why don’t you open your gift from Woods?”

Placing the key in his pocket, Goren bent down and picked the card and small box off of the bed. Opening the card first, the inside was completely covered with signatures and well wishes from many of the staff and residents. Not a surprise but touching. The box, on the other hand, held an unexpected token.

Heavy and stamped with an archaic sigil, filigree and floral embellishments decorated a medal of sorts.

Pulling it out of the velvet lined case, Bobby hefted it in his hand. Turning it over a few times before placing it back in its box and handling it to Eames so she could see.

“It’s a medal,” she remarked. “What’s it for?”

“Not sure,” Goren replied with a shrug. “An award for graduating from the institute? Or perhaps a token to remember the hard work that went into reclaiming my own sanity?”

“You don’t sound totally convinced.”

“I guess I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

“It’s not even noon,” Eames remarked. “Still, it has been eventful, I’ll give you that. Why don’t you lay down and rest while I unpack?”

“Okay,” Goren relented, pulling off his jacket and hanging it on the bedpost. Reaching over he took his penguin from Eames’ grasp and laid down on the bed.

“Still attached to that thing, aren’t you?”

“Fray says it’s fine to be invested in things with sentimental value, as long as it doesn’t inhibit or make day-to-day activities difficult or awkward.”

“Speaking of things with sentimental value. I forgot that I left a box with the rest of your personal effects I got from that security deposit box back in my car. Do you mind if I run out quick and grab them? It’s got your drivers license, social security card, and a few other important documents in it. I’ll just be a moment.”

“That’s fine. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Alright. I’ll be right back.”

With that parting sentiment, Eames left the room and shut the door behind her.

_The door._

He had a door now. It provided him with a sense of security and privacy that he had not realized he had been missing.

Breathing in deeply and exhaling slowly, Bobby adjusted to the emptiness of the room. This was it. This was his new normal.

***

The sun had gone down by the time Eames left and in that time the pair had seen little of Basil. Knowing the lieutenant didn’t like her, Katherine Elizabeth had tried to make herself scarce after telling them they were free to explore the whole house and were welcome to any food in the kitchen. Meanwhile, she had stayed up in her room, with the door shut.

However, after walking Eames out to her car, Bobby re-entered the house. He was still adjusting to his new environment and wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. Thinking he’d just go back to his room, he ascended the stairs, listening to them creak with every step.

As he reached the landing, he looked down the hallway and paused. Eventually, he decided he should check in with Katherine Elizabeth. Walking over, he rapped lightly on her door.

“Hey kiddo,” he called softly, “Eames is gone. It’s just you and me now.”

Pulling open the door, Katherine Elizabeth stood in the doorway for a moment before beckoning him inside her room. Walking over to the sitting area next to the curved window, she made herself comfortable and he followed suit.

“Katherine Elizabeth,” Bobby said, “is everything alright? You’re more subdued than usual.”

“Yes, Bobby. Everything is fine. It’s just a big change for me, having someone here. Don’t get me wrong, I want you here, but this whole transition has left me … contemplative.”

“I understand. Still, I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you how grateful I am. I can see you put in a lot of effort getting everything ready. The house looks immaculate.”

“Well, I certainly didn’t do it on my own. I hate cleaning. But I figured you’d want to bring Eames inside and she’d judge me if she saw the typical state of disarray.”

“You don’t need to worry about Eames.”

“I don’t? Bobby, you’re not serious. She really, really does not like me. And if she put her foot down, I’m pretty sure you would choose her over me.”

A sigh escaped his lips as he tried to convey the depth of his and Eames’ relationship.

“I’ve known her a long time…”

“Longer than you’ve known me. Trust me, Bobby. I get it. And I know how valuable a true friendship can be and I’ll not resent you for having one.”

“Katherine Elizabeth?”

“Hmm?”

“Am I… am I coming between you and someone else? I haven’t really heard you talk about anyone in your life.”

“Social interaction is easy enough. I have nearly 30,000 followers on Twitter, so I guess you’d say I have a lot of people in my life. Too many to mention.”

“Do you know any of them in real life?”

“A few.”

“What are their names? Do I get to meet them?”

“Bobby, knock it off, will you? You’re starting to sound like Fray. That man is half convinced I have attachment disorder and I don’t need you reporting back to him about me.”

Clearing his throat, Goren looked off to the side, not wanting to meet his sister’s gaze.

“Oh, I see,” Katherine Elizabeth inferred. “That was part of the deal, wasn’t it? You got discharged from the institute and in return, you keep an eye on me. Is that it?”

Shaking his head, Bobby replied, “No, not exactly. But you know he’ll be over here soon to do a wellness check.”

“ _Hmpff_. Don’t remind me.”

A pause lingered in the air before Goren broke the silence.

“Katherine Elizabeth?”

“What?”

“You said he thinks you have attachment disorder, really?”

“Don’t worry about it. Suffice it to say, I don’t spend my time in the company of close friends. Most people have jobs and I’m used to being alone. It’s not a big deal.”

“Well, I’m here. So you’re not alone.”

“No. You’re right. I’m not. But in the meantime, I think I’d just like to be by myself. Why don’t you go downstairs and wait for Fray? Hopefully, he won’t be long. We have another busy day tomorrow.”

“Oh? Okay. I just thought…“

“Sorry, I know it’s a lot but, among other things, we have an appointment with a financial advisor tomorrow morning. Your finances are a bit of a mess. And I’m sure you’re not the type of man who appreciates being totally dependent on his little sister financially. I want to give you what independence I can.”

“Independence, that word seems like a stretch.”

“Give it time, Bobby. You’ll get there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated. Thank you <3


	5. Sandman's Spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A month into Bobby's stay with his sister, a nighttime occurrence brings them closer.

Each night, as Goren lay in bed, he curled up under the blankets, listening to the sounds of the old house settle. The creaks and groans were certainly a change from the sounds of the institute. There someone was always moving around, echoing snores and coughs of the other residents often drifted down the hall and into his room.

It had almost been a month and he was finally getting used to his new living situation. He had quickly found out that Katherine Elizabeth was not accustomed to living with another person. There was a growing list that he tried to address with her: don’t leave your shoes on the stairs, don’t listen to your music so loud, don’t drink milk out of the carton, don’t leave dirty dishes scattered around the house, etc.

Those were just minor annoyances and the kind he had expected to have. This wasn’t his first time living with a woman.

Still waiting for sleep to come, Bobby reflected back on an old girlfriend he had once dated, Lola. He had made bigger concessions when he had moved in with her. Lola had had a cat and he still lived with her despite the fact that he was allergic to felines. Back then, he had tried a multitude of medications, supplements, and even homeopathic treatments just so he could co-habitat with the creature. In the end, he had told his girlfriend it was him or the cat. Lola chose the cat.

However, his sister certainly wasn’t a cat and Bobby knew that it took time to break old habits. He wasn’t above assisting his sister in overcoming some of her more less-desirable attributes. Though overall, he just appreciated spending time with her. She made him feel like it was of no consequence that he wasn’t exactly the type of man he used to be before the Daddies had gotten a hold of him.

So far, they’d been spending their days getting his affairs in order: finances, mailing address, wardrobe, room decor, psychiatric appointments, that sort of thing. Katherine Elizabeth had even gotten him an iPhone, though he really didn’t have very many people in his contacts list. Who was he going to call? The vast majority of his friends had probably written him off after not hearing from him for the better part of three years.

Eames, however, had been quite pleased about the phone. Probably because she had approved of the tracker-application that Katherine Elizabeth had set up. It was called Find My Friends and it allowed approved contacts to have access to his location at all times. It was a little demeaning but it was better than being forced to wear an ankle monitor again. Goren put up with it because, in the end, it gave everyone a little peace of mind.

Rolling over to his left side, he paused, hearing something that was more than just a creak of the old house settling. It was almost a high-pitched moan. Waiting for a minute, the noise came again.

Getting out of bed and going to his door, he opened it and listened. The sound was coming from down the hall: Katherine Elizabeth’s room. Flicking on the hall light, he walked softly down the hallway. Despite the care he took, it seemed that each floorboard he stepped on squeaked louder than ever. As he approached his sister’s door and knocked lightly, there was no response and he grew concerned when once more he heard the whimpering sound. Knocking again, he opened the door slowly and peaked his head inside the room.

Worried that he might be interrupting something of a private nature, Bobby was relieved to see her in her bed, clearly asleep. As the soft light from the hallway drifted in and across the blanket covered form, Goren felt almost like a parent looking in on a sleeping toddler, all curled up in bed wearing cute pajamas and a teddy bear tucked beneath one arm.

However, Katherine Elizabeth was no toddler and she certainly wasn’t sleeping like a baby. She was moaning in her sleep and her entire body would tremble under the Sandman’s spell.

“ _Oh, shit,_ ” he thought. He knew what that was, it was a nightmare. He was going to have to wake her.

“Katherine Elizabeth,” he whispered as he crossed over to her and gingerly laid his hand on hers. “Wake up, kiddo.”

Realizing that she was not responding to his attempts to rouse her, he switched to Latin and shook her more firmly.

“Katherine Elizabeth you need to wake up.”

Abruptly, the young woman’s eyes opened as she inhaled quickly through her nose. Half a tick later she was skittering to the far end of the bed so quickly that she fell off and landed on the floor in a heap, tangled in the bedclothes.

“Whoa!” Goren exclaimed, taken aback by her reaction. Speaking in a soothing tone, he tried to placate her as one would a small child. “Sweetie, you’re okay. It’s just me. It’s just your brother. You’re fine.”

“Bobby,” Katherine Elizabeth muttered, “how...? What...? Why am I on the floor?”

By this point, he had crossed to her and untangled her from the sheets before gathering her up in his arms and placing her back on the bed.

“You were having a nightmare,” he explained as he picked up her discarded bear and handed it back to her. “I could hear you from my room, so I came to make sure you were alright. I don’t mean to startle you so badly that you’d fall off the bed though. Sorry.”

“Oh, thank you, Bobby.”

“Don’t mention it,” he replied as he wasn’t sure whether or not she would be receptive to him telling her to lay back down so he could tuck her back in for the night.

Katherine Elizabeth, however, did not lay back down but moved as if to get off of the bed altogether.

“What are you doing, kiddo?” He couldn’t help but ask. “It’s too early to be up.”

“I know but I’m not going to be able to fall back asleep, at least not tonight.”

“Maybe not, but you should at least try.”

“Trust me, Bobby, I’ve had enough nightmares to know better.”

This statement was news to him and he couldn’t help but ask, “You have nightmares often?”

“Um... yeah. I had them all the time when I was a kid. But they stopped for a while, only cropping back up whenever I got stressed out.”

Sitting down next to her on the bed, Bobby pushed for more information, “What are you stressed out about?”

“Right now?” Katherine Elizabeth shrugged. “Nothing really?”

“Then why the nightmare?”

“I dunno, Bobby. They just started popping back up unexpectedly about a year ago.”

“Would this be right around the same time as when I came to the institute?”

Tight-lipped, Katherine Elizabeth simply nodded her head in the affirmative.

“You’re having nightmares that you’re back in Chicago, aren’t you?”

Covering her face in her hands so she would have to look at him, she replied, “It’s not a big deal, okay? So I stay awake for a few days until I crash. What’s the harm in that?”

“Is that a rhetorical question? Katherine Elizabeth, you need sleep, just like the rest of us.”

“Yeah but you’re not the one having nightmares, are you?”

Shrugging, Goren admitted, “Not so long ago the emptiness of my dreams was the only place I could go where they couldn’t hurt me. I even heard them talking about it once, wondering why I spent so much of my time sleeping. Daddy, erm... I mean Kipling, thought it was because my melatonin levels were off. But really, I was just showing signs of severe depression. Still, I’m lucky to not have them haunting my dreams now I’m far away from them. I’m just sorry the same isn’t true for you.”

“It’s not your fault,” she replied as she patted his knee and made to climb out of the bed once more.

“No,” he objected, resting his hand on her arm to stop her. “Try going back to sleep. I’m here now so the least I can do is keep those nightmares at bay.”

“So what, you’re just going to sit here and watch me? That’s kind of creepy.”

Chuckling he answered, “Fine. I’ll just go back to my room then but you should still try and sleep. If you need me, you can just give me a shout.”

“Bobby,” she said softly and with hesitation in her voice, “can’t you just lay down with me for a little bit?”

Warily he replied, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Seems like us being in the same bed together is the type of thing Fray would take issue with if he found out.”

“Then I would suggest you don’t tell him. Besides, I’m not asking you get _in_ bed with me, just lay on top of the covers next to me until I fall asleep. Please, Bobby, I’m so tired.”

“Okay, kiddo. But just for a little bit. This isn’t the type of thing we should make a habit of doing.”

“You’re the best older brother of all time. Just make sure you turn off the lights in the hallway first. I have a hard time sleeping with the lights on. Growing up, I might have been the only kid who was more afraid of the lights being turned on rather than turned off. If it was dark then it meant that I was safe, if you know what I mean.”

“Unfortunately, I know all too well. Now, lay down and close your eyes. Try not to think about it.”

Getting up and padding over to flip off the light, Goren wondered if he should be doing what he planned to do. Granted, being aroundKatherine Elizabeth made him feel like a whole person instead of split into two warring factions. And this was even truer when they were in close proximity. At the same time, he was very sensitive to the fact that impropriety could be insinuated by him simply laying down next to her.

But this wasn’t about him or how he felt. Katherine Elizabeth had asked for his presence and he wasn’t about to deny her that simple request.

With the lights now off, he made his way over to the bed and sat at the edge before laying down and closing his eyes. He could feel his little sister curl up against his side and nestle her head on his shoulder. Her plush bear lay outside the blankets and formed a meager obstruction between her chest and his ribs.

They lay together in the dark for a few moments before Katherine Elizabeth broke the still silence with a question.

“Bobby, can I tell you something?”

“ _Shhh_. Try and get some sleep.”

His response was not enough to quite her mind and after a beat, she unexpectedly confessed, “I’m not a good person.”

“What? Katherine Elizabeth, don’t say that.”

“But it’s true. I’m just like them and Brady too.”

“No, you’re not. Trust me on this. You’re nothing like them.”

Bobby’s words did not seem to dissuade her from the stance she had taken and she continued to explain what she meant in the safety of the inky blackness that surrounded them.

“Part of me is at least.”

Sighing, Goren gave in and engaged in the conversation by asking, “And what part is that?”

“The part of me that likes knowing about all sorts of graphic and sordid instances where people are hurt in various ways. Honestly, it’s the part that I tried to keep away from you. The part I didn’t want you to see.”

Trying to waylay her fears that she was some sort of psychopath he explained, “You know there’s a term for that, it’s called morbid fascination. It’s not uncommon.”

“But given my history —“

“It’s a little unsettling but not surprising. Let me ask you a question. When you think about the specifics of what I’ve been through, how do you feel?”

Sensing her shift uncomfortably beside him, he waited for a response.

“Honestly,” she confessed, “I’m fascinated. But, surprisingly enough, to a certain degree, I’m so horrified that it almost hurts. But it doesn’t lessen my fascination.”

The feelings that his sister admitted to having, Goren knew all too well.

“It’s because that buffer, that distance between you and the twisted destruction that both fascinates and horrifies, is shortened. The closeness makes it real and reality is painful.”

“Why aren’t you concerned that I find that pain somewhat alluring?”

“Because, to a certain degree, I’m the same way. It’s what made me a good detective. Now, hush, try and get some sleep.”

“Okay, Bobby.”

As the pair lay together, Goren was relieved when he noticed the pace of her breathing slowed. She had managed to fall back asleep after all.

Waiting a bit longer, as to make sure the nightmares did not return, Bobby contemplated how his life had changed within a year. In June of last year, he had been barely cognizant of anything besides the ‘boy’ his Daddies wanted to him to be. A victim of constant assaults, as well as psychological and verbal abuse, he had grown accustomed to his life within the four walls of that house, trauma bonded to his captors. Then Voight had miraculously shown up and everything had changed in an instant. Bobby was no longer being suppressed by the men who had abducted him. This meant that he was able to recover, both mentally and physically.

And recover, he had.

Well, mostly.

Goren knew he wasn’t the same as he had been before Barrett and Kipling had taken him. It was unlikely he would ever be the same again. However, he had come to peace with that fact because the reality was that what he had been through had led him to his sister. And being here with her, feeling whole and needed and accepted, filled in those holes in his heart that had been there long before his time in Chicago.

“ _You should probably get up now,_ ” he told himself. “ _Go back to your room and let Katherine Elizabeth sleep.”_

_***_

Waking up the next morning, Goren blindly reached over to his bedside table to check the time on his alarm clock. However, instead of his hand hitting the solid wood of his nightstand, his fingers skimmed through the empty air. Too groggy to comprehend the sensory inputs he was receiving, he merely rolled over. Assuming his alarm would go off momentarily, he inhaled deeply, intending on drifting back to sleep for a few minutes.

The smell of coconut shampoo filled his nostrils and was followed but the soft tickle of hair against his face. Brushing the hair away, Goren peered out beneath hooded lids and his gaze fell upon the slumbering form of his little sister.

It was then that the phone on her side of bed began to vibrate and she too awoke.

“Whaa? Bobby, why are you…? Who’s calling?” Katherine Elizabeth mumbled as she reached over for her phone.

Not quite awake, it took her a few seconds to actually focus her eyes on the screen.

“Oh no!” she gasped. “It’s Dr. Fray. Bobby, how long were we asleep?! You were supposed to be at the institute twenty minutes ago for a session!”

Getting up in a rush, Goren nearly tripped on his way to the door.

“Can you tell him I simply lost track of time? Please? I need to go change into something other than pajamas.”

“Sure but be quick about it,” he heard her reply as he made his way back to his bedroom. Then her sweet voice was turned on as she answered the call. “Good morning, Everett. Sorry, Bobby and I just realized the time. We were out having breakfast—“

Closing his bedroom door behind him, Goren quickly pulled his t-shirt and pajama pants off and threw them on his unmade bed. The disorderly state of things would have to be set straight later, right now he needed to put on actual clothes.

Pulling a pair of slacks, an undershirt, and a button-down from where it hung in his closet, he dressed as quickly as possible. In his rush, he kept putting the buttons in the wrong holes but eventually, he got it done properly.

“Katherine Elizabeth,” he called as he opened his door with one hand while attempting to put a sock on with another, “you out of bed yet, kiddo?”

“Yes,” she replied, leaving her room and coming towards him. “But I don’t have time to get all the way dressed. I apologized on your behalf and told Fray you would be there in a few minutes. You’ll have to go on your own today.”

“That’s fine. It’s not like I don’t know the way.”

“You’ve never been out on your own before, at least not since—“

“I said it’s fine,” Bobby replied as he crossed the short distance between them and gave her a quick farewell peck on the cheek. “Honestly, I am not even worried about it.”

Finishing getting everything he needed ready, his shoes on his feet and his phone and keys in his jacket pocket, Goren bounded out the front door. It wouldn’t take long to get to the Institute if he walked quickly. It wasn’t until he was about halfway there that he realized that he really had been truthful about not being worried about going out on his own. Apparently, sleeping in close proximity to his sister had imbued him with a sense of composure and self-assurance. His once empty slumber had been replaced, at least last night, with something much more enriching.


	6. The First Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young woman is assaulted in Manhattan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings apply to this chapter my friends. Proceed with caution.

“ _Women should wear skirts_ ,” he thought to himself as he pretended not to watch the young woman on the subway. “ _It’s only proper."_

She was skinny and had on a brown tweed skirt which was almost the same color as her long brown hair that was braided and hung over her shoulder. However, the opaque maroon tights she wore were not to his taste. They would make what he had planned for her harder to execute.

Tapping his foot nervously on the floor, he adjusted his baseball cap and looked around at the other occupants of the subway car. He enjoyed watching people; on public transportation, there were always interesting people to see.

A man with few friends, he had taken to riding the different lines back and forth from Grand Central Station and watching the people who crowded together on the platforms. Each an individual in their own worlds before the train arrived. Then the masses formed one beast as they pushed in a mad rush to make it onto the train once the doors opened. Businessmen in suits, boys with their pants slung low on their hips, students in t-shirts and jeans, homeless men who would get onto a car and then start singing once the train doors had closed (shaking cups for change in front of their captive audiences), and then there were always the more flamboyantly and colorfully dressed persons who punctuated the sea of neutral colors: these were the people he came to watch.

Additionally, he also quite enjoyed listening to the musicians that would put out their music cases and collect money as they played their instruments. The woman in the brown skirt had been one of those musicians. Those big brown eyes of hers had been closed while she played her violin but had opened the moment the music ended. He had been standing there and was captured by her gaze. In what could only be described as fate, he knew he had to have her.

For a beautiful angel like her, he knew it was his calling to exalt her to a higher level of being and consecrate her on behalf of the Lord.

It wasn’t hard, finding out who she was and where she lived. Her routine rarely varied and so the hardest part for him was remaining undetected as he followed her multiple times a week. But not today, today he planned to take action.

Stealing one more glance at the violinist as she balanced her violin case on her knees, he stood up and made his way over to the doors. He needed to be one of the first ones out of the car so he could be well ahead of her before she walked past the pre-designated location.

“ _Sacrifice_ ,” He mused silently. “ _That’s fitting. She’s the sacrifice and I am the Lord’s anointed._ ”

The train slowed down and swaying came to a stop.

His heart thumping in his chest, he practically flew out the doors and up the stairs. By the time he came to the building, he was completely out of breath and had to lean against the door for balance as he punched in the code on the key-safe that hung on the handle. Once inside, he pulled out his ceremonial knife and awaited his angel.

Peering through the crack in the door, he watched her cross the street and come up the sidewalk. Each step she took bringing her closer and closer. Once she was a few steps away, he swung open the door and she tried to sidestep around him. Lurching forward, he grabbed her arm and yanked her inside, throwing her to the ground as he shut the door.

She screamed.

Quickly, he climbed on top of her and clapped his left hand over her mouth and brought his knife into her line of sight.

“Don’t scream.”

To her credit, she didn’t make a noise but she did attempt to bite his hand.

“No,” he hissed as he pulled his hand away brought it down to her throat. Bringing the knife against her face, he traced the blade against her cheek, a thin red line of blood pooling in its wake.

“ _Why is she fighting me_?” he thought. “ _I am only doing the Lord’s work and as His predesignated sacrifice she should submit herself to His will. Perhaps the Devil has corrupted this angel and that is why the Lord has sent me to cleanse her, body and soul_.”

“Stay still,” he ordered as he switched the knife to his left hand and began to grope the woman with his right.

As his touch lingered on her breasts, he could feel her ribcage expand and contract quickly as her breath was panicked. Exploring the curves of her body, he eventually got his hand under her skirt. Those damn tights were in the way but he managed to rip them away as he dove his fingers into her tight heat.

He needed more. It was what the Lord wanted for him.

Pulling his hand out, he tore as much of her clothing away as he could before then attempting to free his straining cock from his pants so that he might sanctify her with it.

At that moment, while his attention was not on the knife that he held against the woman’s throat, the angel decided to fight back.

A hard and solid object crashed into the side of his head and he was knocked off balance. The woman swung again and hit him again with her violin case. Dazed and in pain, he could not find his knife which he had dropped in the commotion. Neither could he hold on to his angel as she wriggled out from underneath him and made a run for it.

He didn’t have time to think, once she had escaped. But he did know he couldn’t stay here. If she called the police, the last thing he wanted was to be found at the scene. Pushing his now deflated penis back in his pants, he got up and put on his baseball hat that had been knocked off his head. Careful to keep his eyes downcast, he exited the building.

***

In the soft light of his superior's office, the detective sat next to his lieutenant, as the two of them tried to calm their newest victim down enough to get a statement. He did his best not to let it show that despite the severity of the situation, he had no desire to be there as he fought the exhaustion that was creeping up on him. With his dark blonde hair combed back and neatly arrayed and his tie straight and tight against his throat, he gave the perception of professional decorum, but on the inside, he struggled to keep his eyes open and suppressed a yawn. After nearly twenty-four hours on duty, Dominick Carisi Jr. was weary and dying to go home and fall into bed.

Thankfully, his lieutenant offered to assist in taking the woman's statement.

“ _With any luck, I’ll get out of here and home before dawn._ ”

Taking a deep breath that only refreshed him for a moment, Carisi tried to maintain his focus on the young woman sitting before him. Drying her tears with a tissue, she avoided the bandage on her cheek. Her own clothing having been taken as evidence, she sat in the dull grays of NYPD issued clothing, baggy on her slender frame.

“Miss Hart?” Lieutenant Benson inquired. “I know it’s been a long night and you’ve been through a lot. Are you sure you don’t want one of my officers to escort you to the hospital? We can take the rest of your statement there.”

Breathing in a ragged breath, the victim replied between tearful sniffs, “Nicki, please, call me Nicki. And no, I don’t want to go to the hospital.”

“Okay, Nicki,” Carisi joined in. “You told the officers that brought you here that you got attacked on your way home. That a man pulled you into a building, threatened you with a knife, and cut your face before he assaulted you. Is that correct?”

Nodding yes, Nicki was still brushing back the tears as they fell.

Not wanting to push too hard but needing to know more, Carisi asked, “Do you know where you were when he attacked you?”

“I… uh…” Miss Hart replied uncertainly, “I had just crossed the street … and was about a block down from the … uh… subway exit. I’m not sure exactly where I was. It happened so fast.”

“That’s okay,” Benson said reassuringly. “Just tell us what you do remember.”

“I was walking home. A door opened and a man pulled me inside.”

“Did you see his face?” Carisi asked.

“No,” Nicki replied shaking her head. “I just remember he had a knife. That’s all I could focus on, even as he had his hand around my throat.”

Raising her hand slightly, the victim brushed her fingers against the dark bruising around her neck.

“Can you give us anything? His race, age, build, that sort of thing?”

“He was … uh… white, I think. I couldn’t tell you how old he was other than he wasn’t a teenager or elderly. And his build was average, maybe. I’m not sure. It’s like a movie I can’t stop replaying in my head but everything is jumbled up and out of order.”

“That’s okay, Nicki,” Benson comforted. “It’s not unusual for victims to have a hard time remembering everything that happens. But even the smallest details you can give us would be helpful. Now, I have to ask, did he rape you?”

Burying her face in her hands, Nicki’s response was muffled, “No. But he… he… he stuck his fingers inside of me.”

This acknowledgment was followed by a flood of tears.

“Nicki,” Carisi added, trying his best to ignore the tired ache behind his eyes, “none of this is your fault. Okay? You did what you had to do to survive. And that’s the important thing, that you survived and got away. Can you tell us how you did that?”

“Did what?”

“How did you get away?” Benson repeated her detective’s question.

“Oh, I… I hit him… with my violin case,” Nicki noted as if she was realizing it for the first time.

“That’s very good,” Carisi responded. “Did you, by chance, bring it with you?”

***

Closing her office door behind her, Lieutenant Benson conferred with her detective in the bullpen.

“Okay, Sonny, write down your notes quick and then clock out. I’ll write up the report, have the violin case taken down to the lab, and send uni-s to canvas the area. It shouldn’t be too hard to locate the crime scene. I want you back here at 8:00 am. You and Rollins can pick things up and take it from there.”

“Yes, Lieutenant,” Carisi replied gratefully. “8:00 am. I’ll be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is probably not what you all expected by don't worry, we'll get back to Bobby soon enough. 
> 
> Characters in this Chapter:  
> [Olivia Benson](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504409/chapters/33510861)  
> [Dominick Carisi](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504409/chapters/43235579)  
> Nichole "Nicki" Hart - the first 'angel'
> 
> Characters Mentioned:  
> [Amanda Rollins](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14504409/chapters/43237913#workskin)


	7. Banter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katherine Elizabeth and Bobby sit down to have a nice breakfast together.

Humming to himself, Goren was downstairs getting breakfast ready. It was still the early hours of the morning and he was trying to make things a little easier on his sister. Despite trying to get her into a new routine for almost a couple of months, Katherine Elizabeth was still not accustomed to getting out of bed when the clock only displayed single digits. She didn’t exactly appreciate his efforts to regulate her schedule.

“Katherine Elizabeth, come downstairs,” he called without bothering to even look over his shoulder, “breakfast is almost ready!”

“You don’t have to shout,” replied the groggy young woman as she shuffled into the kitchen and leaned across the counter.

Glancing in her direction, Bobby was pleased to see that not only had she actually managed to get dressed but additionally she had done her make-up and hair. Turning his attention back to the stove, he managed to flip the pancakes before they burned.

During his many years as a bachelor, cooking was a skill acquired more out of need and curiosity than anything else. Though, as time had progressed, he felt like he could do it with a high level of proficiency. He was even proud to say that, should the need arise, he could make a bouillabaisse. However, due to the events that had transpired during the last three years, his skills in that area had diminished and he was still trying to get the hang of cooking again.

Still, what skill he had greatly eclipsed his sister’s own ability. She’d figured out how to pour milk and powder into a self-stirring kettle in order to make hot chocolate but that was the extent of her cooking prowess.

“Why do we have to be up so early?” Katherine Elizabeth moaned. “I want to be asleep but instead I’m awake.”

“Awake and about to eat pancakes,” Bobby added as he flipped some onto a plate and handed it to her. “Besides, if you weren’t up all night playing on your phone—“

“Bobby, please. Can we not have this discussion?”

“Sorry, kiddo. Just go sit down and start eating. OJ is already on the table.”

Turning over the last few cakes on the griddle, Goren waited for them to finish cooking before he put them on his own plate and went to sit down across from his sister.

“So what are our plans, again? ” Katherine Elizabeth inquired as she poured an inordinate amount of syrup on her food.

“We’re running a few errands before the shops get busy and then I thought it might be nice to go to the Met. Walk around and see the traveling exhibitions. Then, if we have time, make a stop at the library. If you want everyone who doesn’t already know me to think that I’m just a family friend doing research on immigrant folklore, then I’m actually going to have to do some research. Not that I mind since I already know a bit. It’s actually pretty interesting. Did you know that the roots of classic American folklore such as Paul Bunyan and —“

“Bobby, you don’t have to tell me every single detail,” his sister replied between bites. “At least not this early in the morning, okay? We’ll go to the library and you can tell me all about it while we there.”

After taking a bite of his food and chewing slowing, Goren added, “While we are there, I thought that maybe, I don’t know, maybe you’d like to sign up for one of those GRE-prep classes?”

Goren was lucky his sister’s mouth was full or she would’ve given him a piece of her mind right there and then. If she didn’t appreciate him meddling in her schedule, she definitely hated it when he brought up the subject of her taking the graduate school assessment test. Either way, he knew what was coming now that he had broached the subject. He braced himself.

When she had finished chewing and swallowing her food, Katherine Elizabeth clearly expressed her dissatisfaction.

“Robert Oliver Goren, does Doctor Fray have his hand shoved up your butt like a puppet and making you repeat his asinine ideas about what I should be doing with my life? Funny, I would’ve thought you’d grown tired of having things up there, or maybe you’re just used to it.”

“Well, that was certainly uncalled for,” Bobby shot back, not letting her sharp words find their mark. “And you can’t blame me for wanting to appease Fray as long as the man still insists on doing wellness checks. I am simply trying to keep my word.”

Huffing in derision, Basil replied, “Speaking of the esteemed doctor, you didn’t mention having an appointment at the institute today. What time is that?”

“I don’t have one today.”

Clearly, Katherine Elizabeth hadn’t expected that response.

“So you’re telling me I got out of bed and got dressed and you don’t even have any appointments at the Institute today. Why not? I thought you were attending those trauma support group sessions where you go around the circle and unpack all your emotional baggage so you’re not lugging it around with you everywhere.”

“I asked Fray if I could stop going.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m one of the only males in that group and they all look at me like I’m, I don’t know, the embodiment of the enemy.”

“You want to talk about it?” his sister asked with a smirk.

“Ah ah, no. Katherine Elizabeth, you don’t have a graduate degree so you’re not allowed to shrink me across the dining room table.”

“You need to stop bringing that up. Besides, we can be our own support group of two. Who else knows more about what you went through better than me?”

Initially, when he had first moved in, they had rarely spoken of Barrett and Kipling. If they did, it was with hesitation and uncertainty. But as time had progressed, they had become more comfortable with the subject. It really was like they had their own support group. And the more they talked about it, the easier it was to handle the intrusive thoughts and occasional flashbacks.

“Yeah,” Bobby replied to Katherine Elizabeth’s assertion, “but you were too young to remember half of what they did to you.”

“Half of my five years still is more than your two. Besides, we can play the game of who had it worse.”

Snorting, Bobby shook his head before responding, “I don’t like that game.”

“Because you always lose,” Basil challenged.

“Only because you have this absurd idea that I was their favorite.”

“You were.”

“That’s a really messed up form of jealous you got there kiddo. Or would you have preferred to be the one that they... You know what, never mind. I said I wasn't playing this game.”

“I can see why the women in that group didn’t like you. They simply can’t compete with the number of times you-”

“Are you done?” he interrupted, wanting to end the banter.

“No. Are you? Or did I trigger your PTSD?”

“I don’t have PTSD, thank you very much.”

“That’s only because you went to all those group sessions and unpacked that emotional baggage so it couldn’t hurt you,” Katherine Elizabeth replied. “I don’t think it’s a good idea that you stop going.”

“Are you done now?” Goren asked for a second time. “Or did you want to talk about how they kept you locked up in a cage?”

“Ouch. Bobby, be careful with those words. Those barbs sting,” she replied, her tone dripping with sarcasm.

“You’re tough enough to take it.”

“Awww. See, I knew I liked you.”

“You don’t like me, you love me,” Bobby replied, getting in the last word in their exchange of morbid banter. “Now if you’re done eating you can wash all that syrup off your hands and face before you do the dishes.”

“Why do you always insist on me doing the dishes? We can pay the housekeeper to do it. We might as well since you’ve usurped the rest of her responsibilities.”

“You know why I don’t prefer to do the dishes,” Bobby replied, holding up his left hand and extending this fingers so the taught skin contrasted with the long scar that extended from his fingers to the pad of his palm. “That damn knife in the water made my life exponentially worse.”

“Want to talk about it?” she asked for the second time that morning.

“No,” he mumbled.

If he wanted to talk to her about it, he would wait until one of the nights she couldn’t sleep. Laying in bed next to her, the two would exchange stories. It was cathartic being surrounded by the inky blackness and knowing that the horrors of the past could no longer harm them.

“Well, I guess I’ll get up and do that,” she relented. “Oh, and remind me I’ve got to call and schedule that —“

“Already did.”

“You called the security company and set up an appointment to get the alarm system upgraded?”

“I honestly thought you just weren’t going to do it.”

With a sigh, Katherine Elizabeth remarked, “Bobby, I know Fray said it was good for you to focus on something external but does that something have to be me? I realize helping around the house and organizing some of the day-to-day makes you feel useful and like you are contributing but you’re treating me like a child. I am a grown woman and perfectly capable of managing my own affairs.”

“I never said that you weren’t.”

“You even call me ‘kiddo’ eighty percent of the time.”

“Do you want me to stop calling you that?”

Shrugging, she murmured, “No. It’s fine. I was just trying to make a point.”

“Okay, point made. Leave your dirty dishes in the sink for all I care.”

“We both know that if I do that you’ll be stressed out about it all day long until you finally break down and do it yourself.”

“That’s not true.”

“You stress out about everything being clean because Barrett and Kipling conditioned you to expect a punishment if anything was left untidied. You know that just as well as I do.”

“It’s not the worse thing to stress out about.”

“Yeah, until it becomes compulsive,” Katherine Elizabeth stated as she stood up from the table.

Now, Basil wasn’t normally a clumsy person. She had fast reflexes and so on the odd occasion that she did happen to knock something off of a surface, she typically caught it before it hit the ground. Unfortunately, a plate of syrup makes more of a mess when caught then when left to fall.

“Oh no!” Basil exclaimed staring down at the syrup smeared across the floral design of her dress. “I just got this and now it’s ruined.”

“It’s okay,” Bobby soothed. “It’s a cotton blend so I’ll be able to get the syrup out.”

“You sure?”

“Kiddo, I’m a pro at doing laundry. Just go change quick and—“

Goren stopped mid-sentence and watched as Katherine Elizabeth pulled her dress off right then and there.

“What are you doing?” he wondered aloud. “I said go and change, not strip naked in the middle of the kitchen.”

Looking down at herself, his sister replied nonchalantly, “What’s the big deal? I’m wearing underwear.”

It was true, she was wearing an opaque matching bra and panty set. However, it was the contrasting markings on her pale skin he could not stop seeing. The scars looped and sliced her skin, starting halfway down her sternum until the reached the area directly above her pubis. Granted, she had told him of their existence but seeing them in-person was an entirely different matter altogether.

“Um, hello. Earth to Bobby. Come in Bobby.”

Jostled from his stupor, Goren lifted his eyes to meet her own.

“Katherine Elizabeth, I'm... I'm so sorry.”

“Don’t be,” she replied, as she stepped forward and handed him the sticky garment. “Just help me with the dress, please?”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, parroting her own phrase back at her but meaning it wholeheartedly.

“Nope.”

As she turned to leave, he could now see the same type of terrible scarring was present on her back as well. Though the scars extended higher than those on her front, stopping at the base of her neck.

Keenly recalling the one time Barrett and Kipling had performed surgery on him without any sort of anesthetic, he could only imagine what it was like being a small child and having that done repetitively.

Katherine Elizabeth was right, she had had it worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and Comments are not expected but greatly appreciated. I am eager to hear from my readers, especially after the previous chapter with the Blood Angel and the involvement of the SVU squad.


	8. The Return of Mister Jones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colin comes to Brooklyn to check on Miss Basil after not having contact with her in months.

“ _This isn’t a good idea_ ,” he told himself as he straightened his collar and rang the brass bell. His stomach in knots, Colin Jones rubbed the back of his head as he stared down at his feet. Shuffling them around for a few seconds, he wondered why he even bothered coming all the way to Brooklyn. Katherine Elizabeth was clearly not interested in seeing him. A phone call or a text would have been nice, but he had not received a single one, not even as a response to the few attempts he had made trying to contact her.

Truth be told, he was worried about her. Had something happened to her after she had rushed out of his apartment? Maybe she had just broken her phone again and had to get a new number?

Getting more anxious, Colin leaned towards the doorway and rang the bell once more.

And he waited.

He waited for like what seemed an eternity. Feeling rather dejected, he was about to turn and leave when the door opened and an unfamiliar individual appeared.

“May I help you?” asked the man.

Eyeing the man before responding, Colin was rather taken aback. He had not expected a man to open the door, and certainly not one who appeared to be middle-aged despite his dark hair and tall fit frame. Perhaps, the man (whose deep brown eyes that seemed to be burrowing into Colin’s soul) was there on business. Still, not wanting to make any assumptions, Colin erred on the side of caution.

“Hello,” Jones returned, “I’m here to see Katherine Elizabeth. Is she in?”

“She is but she didn’t say she was expecting anyone. Whom should I say is calling?”

Attempting to downplay his concern and act somewhat casual, Colin replied, “Listen, mate. Could you just tell her that Colin is here to see her?”

The man was about to reply when the voice of Katherine Elizabeth came echoing through the open door.

“Bobby, who’s at the door?”

“I don’t know,” the man, Bobby, called back. “Some British guy named Colin.”

Miss Basil had come to the doorway now and pulled her companion back a few steps.

“Colin!” Katherine Elizabeth exclaimed, her tone soft and cheery. “I’m so happy to see you. Please come inside.”

Stepping past the taller man, Colin waited for some cue from Miss Basil as an indication of how he should act in this situation. The young woman must’ve realized quickly that she was the go between the two men and so she made a hasty introduction.

“Colin, this is Robert Goren. He’s an old family friend who is in town for an indeterminate amount of time doing some research for a book he is writing. I offered to let him stay in my spare room for the time being. Bobby, this is my friend, Colin. He’s an actor and lives out in the Village.”

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Colin added, extending his hand for a handshake.

His arms crossed as he glared at the younger man, Goren did not immediately return the gesture. At least not until Katherine Elizabeth gave him a nudge.

“Bobby,” she asked, “would you mind terribly staying downstairs for a bit? I know you’ve been working and Colin and I would hate to disrupt you with our silly chitchat.”

“Sure,” the man all but growled. “It was nice to meet you, Colin.”

And with that parting remark, he turned and headed back towards the kitchen.

As soon as Bobby was out of sight, Katherine Elizabeth grabbed Colin by the jacket and pulled him up the stairs. With her fist closed tightly around his lapel, he had no choice but to follow her as they ascended to the second floor. Expecting that she was leading him to her bedroom, he was taken by surprise as they passed her doorway and up another flight to the third floor.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed as she shoved him into a small office-library at the end of the hall. “You can’t just show up without warning. It’s highly unprofessional.”

“Unprofessional?” he mocked, as his concern had now changed to anger and resentment. “You want to know what is unprofessional? When you don’t pay for services rendered. I’m such a fool. Here I am, worried that something happened to you when in reality you have just shacked up with some bloke old enough to be your father. What happened to boyfriends being more trouble than they are worth, Katherine Elizabeth? How big is that guy’s dick anyway? It must be impressive for you to go and break your precious ‘rules.’”

“Bobby and I are not having sex in any way, shape, or form.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he snapped. “I just have to look at you and see that you are _well- rested_.”

“No, that’s not how it is —”

Shaking his head, Colin argued, “No. I’ll tell you how it is: I scaled back on the number of clients I take with assurances from you that you aren’t going anywhere. But then, you run out of my flat one morning and that’s the last I see of you for months.”

“Oh,” Miss Basil remarked, “so this is about money? Is it? Checking on me was merely a pretense because the whore can’t make his rent.”

“You are a fucking bitch, you know that? And I don’t need you.”

Intent on storming out, Colin’s efforts to leave were thwarted by Katherine Elizabeth moving directly in his path. Resolute that she would not get the better of him, Colin stepped up, toe to toe with her.

“You’re right about the other day,” she whispered, her voice had gone all sultry as she leaned in next to his ear. “I did forget to pay you. I’m more than happy to rectify that situation. Give you what I owe, plus interest.”

“Forget about it. I don’t care anymore,” he remarked.

“Oh, but you do. Come now Colin, I’ve got the money right here,” she said as she stepped over to the solid oak desk and, after fiddling with some sort of combination, opened a drawer. Reaching inside, she pulled out a stack of bills. Even from his position, which was more than just a few feet away, he could see the clear outline of Benjamin’s face imprinted on the bills.

As much as he wanted to leave, he really could use the money.

“How much do I owe you? Twelve, right? Well, how about I add on another two and we call it even?”

Licking her index finger, Katherine Elizabeth pulled fourteen hundred-dollar bills from the stack before placing it back in the drawer. Then, walking back around to the front of the table, she leaned against it and waited for him to come to her.

“I’ll take what you owe me and not a penny more,” Colin grumbled as he crossed to her.

“Oops,” she faked, as she dropped the bills on the floor. “My bad. I’m so clumsy.”

Rolling his eyes, Colin bent down to retrieve the hundreds. He wasn’t surprised she was taking every opportunity to humiliate him, especially when it came to the exchanging of money. Of her many kinks, Katherine Elizabeth had always taken particular enjoyment in the act of financial domination.

Once all the bills were gathered in his hands, he straightened himself to a standing position. Counting out twelve of the hundreds, he handed her back the remaining two. He was done with her and he could think of no better way of showing it than to refuse her ‘charity.’

As she did not put out her hand to accept the money, Colin leaned passed her and placed the surplus bills on the table behind her. Not wanting to draw out the confrontation, he turned his back on her and made his way over to the door. As he reached for the handle, he heard a word he did not expect.

“Platypus.”

“I beg your pardon?” Colin inquired, somewhat confused by Basil’s use of the word.

“Platypus,” Katherine Elizabeth repeated. “It’s your safe-word, isn’t it?”

“It is,” he acquiesced with a growl. His hand still on the handle, he fought with himself not to turn around and look at her. Whatever game she was playing, he was done with it.

“So,” she said matter-of-factly, “I’ve yet to hear you say it.”

His frustration getting the better of him, Colin turned to look at her through narrowed eyes.

“A safe-word is to be used during sexual encounters between consenting adults. This is not a that, Katherine Elizabeth. This is an end to our professional relationship. We’re done.”

“You are done when I say you are done. Now tell me, how much do you need to make your rent?”

“Bloody hell,” Colin fumed, “you really don’t know how to take no for an answer.”

“And you’ve yet to use your safe word,” she retorted.

“Piss o—“

His reply was halted as Katherine Elizabeth had quickly crossed the short distance between them and pressed her lips firmly against his. Instinctually biting down, Colin felt the softness of her lower lip buckle against the solidity of his teeth. Not wanting to cause her injury, he opened his mouth once more and quickly her tongue delved into the heat of his mouth, sliding back and forth. Impulsively, he returned the motions with his own tongue before pressing his lips down and snogging her like a teenager.

The rational part of his brain seemingly had shut down as the anger that was flowing through his veins moments before turned into animalistic lust.

“Fucking hell,” he groaned as she pulled her face away and he felt her hands on the waistband of his trousers. Feeling her fumble with his fly, she apparently lost her patience as she shoved her hand down his pants to grasp his hardening member.

“Look who’s wearing underwear today. Are you sure you should be wearing those? I’m pretty sure you can’t afford to be spending money washing clothes at a laundromat.”

“If I fuck you now, you owe me another twelve,” he growled.

“I’ll give you six. And don’t argue with me. I know you need the money, slut.”

Any desire he might have to barter a higher price was forgotten as it became apparent that Katherine Elizabeth’s immediate objective was to get him completely naked.

She had somehow managed to get the zip of his trousers undone and had pushed them down (and his pants as well) in one fell swoop. His jacket was pushed off his shoulders and arms with ease and it fell to the ground behind him. On the other hand, the neck of his shirt caught on his chin as Katherine Elizabeth was pulling it off. Of course, her reaction was only to pull on it harder, leaving his face flush and hair a mess once she finally got it off.

Pulling him forward, Miss Basil only caused him to stumble on the material bunched around his ankles and she took the opportunity to have him lean against the desk (swiping a lamp, pen stand, letter tray, and a few books off to the side in the process) before she got behind him. Crouching down, she rid him of his shoes and remaining garments. Now stark naked, Colin felt the firmness of her hand on his back as she pushed his torso down so he was doubled over the desk entirely.

His arms bent at his sides (and the cash still clutched in his fist), Colin supported his weight as best he could as he tried to relax his muscles in preparation for whatever Katherine Elizabeth was planning on doing next.

The weight of her still clothed-body draped over his was practically possessive. Warm heat from her breath lingered against his neck as she sighed happily.

“Oh, Colin,” she moaned softly, “it has been a very long few months.”

As she dragged her lips downwards along his spine, Colin felt the occasional brush of her teeth as she nipped at his skin. A thought occurred to him that maybe she was telling the truth about not having sex with the man downstairs and there was a possibility she had gone without since the last time she saw him. In that case, she was probably downright ravenous and his knees trembled at the thought.

Her oral attention ceased once she reached his tailbone as she pushed back from him and yet he could still sense her proximately close behind him. The sudden stillness of the air around his naked form made the small hairs of his skin rise up on end and he found the subtle sensation almost ticklish.

The stillness didn’t last long as it was broken by the more than forceful smack to his right hindquarters.

He heard it before he felt the reverberations shake him to his core making him gasp aloud. Katherine Elizabeth wasn’t typically one to inflict an undue amount of pain, especially with her own hand. Certainly, as hard as she had hit him, her hand must be hurt too. Shifting, Colin groaned as the feeling of pain subsided.

“Did you like that?”

Colin was by no means a masochist. However, there was something about brute physical contact that made his eyes roll back in his head. It wasn’t the pain, it was the feeling of the pain subsiding. Almost as if the pain was melting away and leaving behind a sensual tingling feeling.

“Y-yes,” he stammered.

“Should I do the other side?”

Colin knew she wanted a verbal answer but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Instead, he fell back on something he knew she would love.

He whimpered.

“Fuck,” she whispered right before she smacked his ass on the left.

Breathing hard, Colin gasped. It had been a while since he was required to be this submissive for a client and his once high resilience levels weren’t where they used to be. Thankfully, Katherine Elizabeth allowed him to catch his breath before she hit him again.

Tracing what had to be the outline of the handprint she had left on his ass, Basil cooed at him softly.

“Tell me you want more.”

“ _Mmmpff_ ,” Colin moaned.

“Come on. Tell me. Tell me you want it.”

“Please,” he begged.

“Please, what?” she asked.

“Please, Miss,” he said so politely, “I want more.”

Ever accommodating, she granted him his request. Spanking him repetitively, she took her time between strikes and left him room to adjust to her blows. But the blows continued as she doled out pain mixed with sentiments of how he was only getting what he deserved.

Finally, with each additional blow, the pain increased to the point where it was no longer subsiding. Strung out on pain, his eyes squeezed shut and his fingers gripping the far edge of the table, he finally threw in the towel.

“Stop,” Colin groaned. “Katherine Elizabeth, please stop.”

“But you look so pretty,” she teased. “Those plump cheeks of yours all marked up and red.”

Knowing that the word ‘no’ had never stopped her before and sensing that she might be gearing up for another round, Colin confessed, “If you hit me again, I’ll use my safe word. I can’t take anymore, really, I can’t.”

The light touch of her fingers fell upon his bruised skin and he could practically hear the cogs in her brain turning.

“So pretty,” she said again as she admired her handiwork.

With a grip on his hip to steady herself on her way down, Katherine Elizabeth got on her knees behind Colin.

A moment later, Colin felt the relatively cool brush of her lips on his bare skin. A few soft and light kisses preceded an unexpected comment.

“Does that make you feel better?”

Now, Katherine Elizabeth had always had a firm grasp on what it took to be the dominant party in any sexual situation. She did it instinctively and she did it well. However, every coin had two sides and typically a dominant party would flip to being comforting and providing aftercare once a scene had concluded. Miss Basil, unlike most responsible doms, had never taken the time to provide that sort of service, at least not to him. Though this wasn’t surprising as she was paying for his services and not the other way around.

But this scene, for what it was worth, was clearly far from over as she pulled him back slightly from the table so she could reach around and grab a hold of his dick.

“I make you feel good, don’t I?” Katherine Elizabeth asked.

“Yes,” Colin said with a moan.

“Tell me,” she instructed.

“You make me feel so good, Miss,” Colin breathed heavily as he fell under the spell of the tenderness of her kisses and the not so tender but still enjoyable tug of her hand along his cock.

The gentle caress of her mouth continued to soothe his aching skin and, for a while, she seemed content, until finally she pulled back from him and spoke.

“Colin,” she ordered, “why don’t you show me your pretty pink hole?”

And though she had phrased it as a question, he knew a direct command when he heard one. Colin did as he was told. He reached back to grasp both of his round ass cheeks (hissing silently as his fingers dug into his oversensitive flesh) and pulled them apart.

The tips of Katherine Elizabeth’s fingers were cool as she drifted them along his crack and stopping at the sensitive puckered hole.

“Fuck,” she practically hummed. “I do love a clean boy.”

 _“Of course I’m clean_ ,” he thought. “ _One doesn’t come to Basil’s house unprepared and certainly not dirty.”_

She leaned in and Colin could feel her breath against him. He clenched involuntarily.

“ _Shhh_ ,” she soothed, “I know what whores like you like. Now, don’t move a muscle.”

And with that comment, she began to lap at the sensitive ring of muscle. Teasing it ever so gently with her tongue, all the while she kept her hand in front of them as she stroked his cock in pace with the flicks of her tongue and the press of her lips.

What was left of Colin’s rational thought was pure mush at this point. Katherine Elizabeth’s physical attention was intoxicating and when fully under its spell he was helpless. Surely, who in their right mind would think that receiving a rim job would be such a submissive act? But here he was, acting the wanton harlot and getting paid for it too.

“Oh, fuck,” he exclaimed, “I’m going to cum.”

Normally, Miss Basil always insisted on coming first and even being the only one who achieved orgasm at all. But his declaration did nothing to hinder her actions as she continued to tongue the ridges of his ass hole and work the cock in her hand.

Unable to stay still anymore, Colin’s hips bucked of their own accord as he splashed the side of the oak desk with his cum. Then, his legs shaking, he slowly slid off of the desk and onto the floor. Nuzzling up to Katherine Elizabeth, all he wanted to was to bask in the glow of his orgasm. And for a moment, she seemed content to let him ride the subtle aftershocks as she curled around him and kissed him sweetly.

“You remember what I said about liking clean boys, right?” she whispered in his ear.

Drawing her fingers down the ridges of his stomach, she reached his cock. Taking her index and middle fingers she swiped it along the slit of his cock (sending oversensitive shivers down his spine) and gathered up the remain ejaculate lingering there. A smirk colored her lips as she brought her finger to Colin’s mouth.

He knew what she wanted and, unlike many of his heterosexual counterparts, he had no problem cleaning her fingers of any lingering traces of his seed. Making a bit of a show, he lapped at her fingers and listened to her giggle.

Pushing him to a sitting position, Katherine Elizabeth motioned towards the side of the desk.

He had more cleaning to do.

Getting on all fours, he bent his head down and licked up the mess he had made, shimmying his ass in Katherine Elizabeth’s direction for good measure.

Finally, when he was done, he crawled back over and flopped down on the floor next to her.

“You are truly wicked,” he remarked quietly.

“I am though?” she shot back. “I’m not through with you yet.”

“I live to serve.”

“Good,” Katherine Elizabeth said as she pushed herself up to a standing position before running her hand up her skirt to remove her panties. “Because I am going to cum in that fucking mouth of yours.”

“Oh?” he mused. As a professional, he always gave his clients the courtesy of not exposing them to his seminal fluids. Granted, he knew he was clean (and he did get tested on a regular basis) but he still didn’t want to give any of his clients undo concern by exposing them in the first place. “Really?”

“Really,” she replied as she knelt down over his face. “Now, shut up and tongue fuck my cunt.”

Katherine Elizabeth’s pussy was already extremely wet as Colin set to work, easily slipping his tongue in and out of her slick folds. Blindly, he maneuvered his hand underneath her skirt and found the apex of her thighs. Dipping his hand down, he sought the tight bundle of nerves of her clitoris.

Lapping at the juices that flowed from her sex, he set about working his tongue into a pleasing rhythm as he applied gentle and constant stimulation to her clit. It wasn’t long before her long fingers found themselves buried in his hair and her thighs quaked on either side of his head as she came in his mouth.

By the time they finally got off the floor and cleaned up, there was no telling how long they had been up on the third floor. But when they came downstairs, that man, Goren, was waiting in the living room for them. Colin didn’t really understand the relationship between Bobby and Katherine Elizabeth, but one thing was for sure, he felt the need to mark his territory. She was _his_ client after all.

“Thanks for letting me drop by,” he said as she accompanied him to the door.

“Anytime,” she replied as she opened the door for him.

Giving Goren a hard look, Colin then turned and kissed Katherine Elizabeth on the mouth.

“Cheers love,” he remarked before stepping out the door and down the steps.

***

“Friend, huh?” Bobby questioned. “Funny, I don’t kiss my friends like that.”

Shrugging, Katherine Elizabeth remarked, “Friends with benefits then, I guess.”

Goren was not naive and it had only taken a few moments for him to figure out Mr. Jone’s profession. If the mixture of expensive accessories paired with well-worn clothing didn’t practically spell out ‘man who receives nice gifts from wealthy clients,’ then Bobby wouldn’t have been so sure. However, having been a detective for so long, he couldn’t help but notice that the man carried two different phones (one for work and one for personal use) in his back pockets.

Besides, his sister was not coy and given her attitude, the sounds that had drifted down from the third floor, and the hint of greenbacks peeking out of Colin’s left front pocket, Bobby was certain he was right.

Still, he wanted to test his theory.

“You know,” Bobby pushed, “he was acting more possessive than someone in a friends-with-benefits type situation.”

“I know,” she laughed, “but I find it rather endearing.”

“I don’t think it’s funny.”

“No, and why is that?”

“Because I know what a prostitute looks like when I see one, Katherine Elizabeth.”

There, he had said it.

“Bobby,” Katherine Elizabeth groused, “I’m in a good mood. Please don’t ruin it by acting like a cop.”

“Fine. I just want you to be careful. That shit is illegal for a reason.”

“Language, Bobby.”

Huffing, he replied, “I’m sorry, okay. I just don’t understand why a pretty woman like yourself would require the services of a man like that.”

“Men like that respect requests without question.”

“Do I want to know what sort of requests you make?” Bobby shot back.

“Bobby, my torso is covered in scars. You know this,” Katherine Elizabeth replied, her tone utterly serious. “Do you really think someone would see them and not ask how I got them? I sleep with Colin because he doesn’t insist on seeing me naked and he doesn’t ask why. Is that so hard to understand?”

“ _No, it’s not_ ,” Bobby thought but didn’t want to reply. The idea that his little sister had resorted to sleeping with prostitutes so she didn’t have to reveal her scars made his stomach churn unpleasantly.

“I don’t want to see you getting arrested for hiring a prostitute. You know Eames used to be assigned to VICE and she would tear you apart if she knew.”

“Then I suggest you don’t tell her,” Katherine Elizabeth replied. “Besides, I’m a consenting adult. He’s a consenting adult. Do you really care that a bit of money exchanges hands? There are worse things I could be doing.”

“But—“

“Enough! Bobby, end of conversation. I suggest you simply move on and not put too much thought into it. Colin is my actor friend. That’s all, okay? Leave it.”

“Katherine Elizabeth,” Goren reasoned, “it’s not safe.”

“No,” she turned on him, pointing a finger in his face, “you will not lecture me. I may be your flesh and blood but that doesn’t give you the right to tell me what I can and cannot do. I am the one that pulled you out of the hell hole that was Chicago and not the other way around. I will deal the hand I’ve been dealt how I want to and you, you will not interfere. Honestly, it seems pretty hypocritical that you would even dare to bring the subject up at all.”

“And why is that?” He asked, confused.

“Come on, Bobby. Don’t make me say it.”

“No,” he pushed. “I’m a big boy. Say what you’ve got to say.”

Katherine Elizabeth’s response was a bit hesitant but finally, she said, “It’s not like I’m the one with the word ‘whore’ burned into my leg.”

His sister’s last comment stung and left him without a response. He knew she didn’t like being criticized but surely she would’ve realized that doing something illegal was bound to cause him to disapprove. But her rationalization and defense had been filled with such emotion that he knew better than to keep pushing the issue.

Instead, Bobby stood still as he watched Katherine Elizabeth turn on her heel and leave the room. He might not approve of her seeking the services of a professional sex worker but he knew that trying to steer her away from those sorts of activities could backfire on him. Consequently, he knew he’d have to wait and address the issue later. Perhaps in the meantime, he’d come up with a better argument. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my delay in updating but life is crazy. I just went to the doctor today and I got diagnosed with strep throat. (I'd been putting off going for over a week because I just thought it was allergies... I know, I know... bad idea.)
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and the smut. Please take the time to leave a comment if you are so inclined (because this sicky could use a bit of love... plus I can't spread germs through the internet which is a bonus, right?)


	9. Lucy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goren finds out something surprising about his sister and takes action.

“So,” Katherine Elizabeth mused as she entered the third-floor library where Goren was 373 pages deep in a novel, “I was thinking that maybe you and I could take a holiday for your birthday next week. Go out to the Hamptons, rent a private beach house, get some sun, take a dip in the ocean. What do you think?”

“No thanks,” Bobby replied. “I don’t like the beach. Never have. I hate how sand just gets everywhere. Besides, how would we get out there? You don’t have a car and it’s been ages since I drove. And I’m not about to let you drop a couple grand on a car service to get all the way out there. I doubt Grandfather would approve of such a waste of the family trust.”

“Says the guy who was so deeply in debt that my accountant took one look at those records and got an instant migraine.”

“My mother was sick, Katherine Elizabeth. What was I supposed to do? Not pay for her treatment? I did what any good son would do.”

“You mean, you did what any son would do when desperately seeking the approval from an emotionally distant mother. How did that work out for you?”

“My mother may be dead but at least I had one.”

“Touché,” Basil quipped, though a bit sullenly.

At some point, the verbal sparring between them had gone from a cognizant choice to almost a reflex. Katherine Elizabeth once said that she was just making a good faith effort to desensitize Bobby from being hurt by the words of others. Naturally, it was only fair that he got an opportunity to fire back and at times it could be rather exhilarating. Though this time, he was worried that he might have gone a bit too far.

“But I do have a car though.”

“Huh?” Bobby wondered, pulled from his internal speculations. “What do you mean you have a car? I’ve been living here for 5 months and I’ve never seen it.”

“Yeah, it’s out at a storage facility in Canarsie. I’ve never driven it, so it might need a bit of a tune up.”

Focusing back on the book, Bobby turned the page. Indifferently, he asked, “Why bother owning a vehicle if you never drive it?”

“It was my grandfather’s,” Katherine Elizabeth remarked casually as she absentmindedly fiddled with the items on the desk, making sure everything was straight and parallel with its fellows, “so it has sentimental value. I didn’t just want to sell it off. Besides, I figured it might come in handy if I ever get my driver’s license.”

“What?!” Bobby exclaimed. “What do you mean you don’t have a driver’s license? You’re 27. How have you gotten by without one?”

Basil shrugged, her arms folded defensively.

“I have a passport,” she mumbled.

Snapping the book closed that had been laying discarded on his lap, Bobby got up and crossed over to the filing cabinets behind the desk. As he pulled a drawer open and began thumbing through the hanging folders, he was interrupted by his little sister.

“Bobby, what are you doing?”

“I am looking for your birth certificate. Then we are going to the DMV to getting you a learner’s permit. There is no way a sister of mine is going to go through life not knowing how to drive.”

***

Being at the Department of Motor Vehicles was just as monotonous and taxing as one would expect it to be at 3:00 in the afternoon. Bobby had helped Katherine Elizabeth fill out the forms and now they were just waiting for her number to be called. Well, he was waiting, she was playing Candy Crush on her phone.

Figuring he could hear the number being called just as well from anywhere in the room as when he was sitting next to his sister, Goren decided to get up and grab a drink from the water fountain. For her part, Katherine Elizabeth hardly seemed to notice that he had moved.

The water was tepid and had the odd metallic taste of treated water that ran through the pipes of old buildings like the kind that housed the DMV. Still, it did quench his thirst. Wiping excess drops from his lips, he made an abrupt turn around as he heard someone approaching from behind him.

“Goren,” greeted the woman, her dark hair lightly touched with gray, “is that really you? I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Trying to push down the part of him that was startled by her sudden appearance, Bobby returned the greeting.

“Hello, Irene. How are you?”

“I’m good, thank you. I’d ask how you’ve been but by the looks of it you’re doing well. I don’t think I’ve seen you since I stopped attending those old poker games after Carlos and I got married.”

“Oh, how’s he doing by the way?”

Shrugging, Irene replied, “We got a divorce three years ago. What about you? Still married to the job?”

“I’m… um… currently on leave from the department.”

“You? On leave? Really? That’s surprising. So what have you been doing in the meantime? Does it having anything to do with that pretty young thing over there?” she inquired, gesturing her head in Katherine Elizabeth’s direction.

“I picked up some work doing a bit of freelance security for a family here in Brooklyn,” Bobby lied.

The bit he had practiced about being a writer had been for the benefit of Katherine Elizabeth’s acquaintances and wouldn’t work on Irene. The woman was a stockbroker and a shrewd one at that. She would’ve seen through that pretense instantly. It was all he could do to come up with something more believable at the last second.

“And so you’re…?”

“Babysitting.”

“Ah, I see. And here I thought you were like my ex-husband and found yourself a girlfriend half your age.”

“Definitely not.”

The toneless sound of the intercom interrupted their exchange.

>>843<<

“Oh that’s us,” Goren said. “I’ve got to go.”

“Here,” Irene said, pulling a card from her purse. “In case you want to give me a call and get a drink some time. It would be nice to reconnect.”

Slapping a courteous smile on his face, Goren gave her a nod and walked back over to Katherine Elizabeth.

“Babysitting, huh?” Basil asked as her brother took her by the elbow and guided her towards the counter.

“You heard that? Sorry. It was just the first logical explanation that came to mind.”

“It’s fine, I just —“

“Next,” the man at the counter called, ending their conversation.

***

Hoping that Katherine Elizabeth wasn’t going to bring up his run-in with Irene was wishful thinking. As soon as they had gotten done at the DMV and into a waiting town car, she began her barrage of questions.

“So,” Basil inquired, her new learner’s permit in hand, “Who was that?”

“No one. Just an old girlfriend.”

“Ooh, a girlfriend? Tell me more. I don’t think I’ve heard you talk about any of your previous sexual partners before, at least not female ones.”

Glaring at her beneath a hooded brow, Bobby replied gruffly, “Why do you say stuff like that? You know what happened in Chicago doesn’t count.”

“Do you expect an apology?”

In no mood for banter, he replied, “I expect you to at least extend me a little more courteous than you do everyone else. I’m your brother, not your verbal punching bag.”

“I hear you, Bobby. You don’t need to get defensive. All I want to know is who was that woman?”

Sighing, he rubbed his forehead. Katherine Elizabeth was like a dog with a bone. She wasn’t going to let this go. Letting the silence linger between them, Goren finally answered, “There’s not much to tell. We dated for a while but we each had our own careers and we broke up.”

“But she gave you her number, didn’t she? Are you going to call her?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

While Basil’s tone sounded sincere and almost on the verge of compassionate, Bobby thought her question was rather rhetorical.

“Do you really think I have any interest in dating?”

“I think you are capable of dating if you wanted to do so,” came her pointed response.

“Well I don’t want to, so there,” Goren stated, trying to bring an end to the conversation.

“And why is that?” Katherine Elizabeth prodded.

“You know why. Now stop asking me questions or I’ll have the driver pull over and you can walk home.”

The anger in his voice must have been more forceful than he meant it to be considering Basil immediately ceased speaking and looked down at the temporary paper permit in her hand. Bobby watched as she turned it over a few times before putting it in her pocket.

Katherine Elizabeth, however, was incapable of being quiet for long and eventually piped up again.

“So… we’re actually not on our way home, not just yet. I asked the driver to take us out to Canarsie. I thought you might want to take a look at Grandfather’s old car.”

“Fine,” Bobby relented. “Just keep your comments to yourself. I don’t need you weighing in on my love life.”

“Or lack thereof,” Katherine Elizabeth added.

If looks could kill, the glare he gave her would’ve reduced her to ash.

***

“So, where’s this car?” Bobby asked opened the vehicle door for Katherine Elizabeth and helped her out.

“I’m not sure,” she said as the pair walked towards the storage building that was attached to a mechanics garage. “Grandfather’s friend, I forget his name, runs the place. He’ll know where Lucy is.”

“The car’s name is Lucy?” Goren inquired with a roll of his eyes.

“Yep,” Basil remarked as they entered the building and approached the desk at the entry.

Snapping her hand forward, Katherine Elizabeth rang the brass bell on the counter. A few moments later, an old weathered man, dressed in gray mechanics coveralls that stretched across his beer belly, came into the room. A worn name patch on his chest read ‘Tony.'

“Can I help you?” he groused.

“Yes, Tony, hi,” Katherine Elizabeth replied cheerfully. “I’m not sure if you remember me, my name is Katherine Elizabeth Basil. My grandfather —“

The man’s face changed in an instant upon hearing her last name and it only served as a reminder to Goren of the power of the dead man’s lasting influence.

“Oh! You’re Roger’s little girl. I see it now. Have you come for the car?”

“We have,” she returned with a smile. “Thought we’d take a look at her if we could. I realize she’s probably been sitting for a while and isn’t exactly road worthy but —“

“I’ve taken good care of her, don’t you worry. I’ll just grab the keys and the two of you can take her out for a bit.”

And just like that, the pair of them had the keys to the storage hanger and were making their way over to the private unit where Lucy was being kept.

“So, what kind of car is it?” Bobby asked.

“Dunno, something foreign.”

“German?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Japanese?”

“Definitely not.”

“Then what is it?”

“Why are you so curious all of a sudden? All I know is that the steering wheel is on the wrong side. Ah, here we are,” she commented as they reached the oversized unit and she placed the key in the lock and turned it.

The mechanized sounds of the garage door opening filled the hanger. As corrugated metal rolled upward, Katherine Elizabeth reached inside and flipped on the light. What Goren saw nearly had him drop to this knees.

A 1962 charcoal gray Aston Martin DB4 Vantage.

“No. Fucking. Way.”

“Uh uh, no swearing, Bobby. Do you like it?”

“Like it? Katherine Elizabeth, you have no idea. This car is… Well, it’s… Honestly, I’m at a loss for words.”

“Grandfather was rather fond of her. But since I’ve got my learner’s permit now—“

“What?!” Goren gasped. “No. You are not driving this car. This is a righthand drive manual. There is no way you are learning how to drive using this spectacular vehicle. You’ll wreck the transmission.”

Sounding a little dejected, Katherine Elizabeth muttered, “Fine, I guess we’ll just leave her here then.”

“Oh?” Bobby questioned, shifting back and forth from looking at his sister to looking at the car. “Can I at least look inside her first? Please?”

“Sure, I guess,” Basil replied with a smirk, tossing him the keys. “Get on in.”

He felt like a kid in a candy shop as he slid in on the right side of the car. This had to be a series V model with its taller body for increased interior space, perfect for a man as tall as himself.

“Start her up,” his sister said as she clambered into the seat next to him.

It had been ages since he’d been behind the wheel of a righthand drive car but it wasn’t completely unfamiliar to him. He placed his hand on the wheel, made sure the shifter was in the right gear (it was a four-speed), put his foot on the clutch, and turned the key in the ignition.

Lucy came to life and Bobby couldn’t help but to press down on the gas a few times as he revved the engine, listening to her purr. Tony wasn’t lying when he said he had taken good care of her.

Giving him a small nudge, Katherine Elizabeth said, “You can take her around the hanger a few times if you’d like.”

He didn’t need to be told twice and he very carefully lifted his foot off of the clutch and pulled out of the stall.

A few laps later, Goren reluctantly parked the car back in her unit. He’d spend all day in the car if he could but he didn’t want to push his luck.

“Did you have fun?” Katherine Elizabeth asked as she got out of the car.

“Yes,” Bobby mused, as he gently closed the door and ran his fingers along her sleek body.

“Do I need to give you two some space?” his sister chuckled.

“No,” he countered bemusedly.

“You know,” Katherine Elizabeth mused aloud, “I think this is probably the happiest I have ever seen you. It’s not a bad look on you. So… um…tell you what, if you want her, she’s yours.”

“No,” Goren replied, numb with shock at what his sister was offering. “I couldn’t possibly. Do you know how much this car is worth?”

“It’s just a car. Besides, I think Grandfather would want someone who really appreciated Lucy to have her.”

“It’s too much.”

Walking up to her brother and wrapping her arms around him, Katherine Elizabeth pressed, “Take the car, Bobby. You can think of it as an early birthday present if you’d like.”

“Okay, kiddo … if you insist.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize if you guys are getting sick of Katherine Elizabeth hanging around. She's not going to be in every chapter but she is featured more heavily in the first third of this story than she will be in the rest. 
> 
> Other than that, is this chapter too fluffy? Let me know in the comments below. <3


	10. Incivility

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goren ventures out on his own and it doesn't exactly go the way he had planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really don't know how this chapter got so long but it did. I hope you all enjoy and I apologize in advance, I only proof read this a couple of times before posting so there might be a few more grammatical mistakes than usual.

Entering the bullpen, Lieutenant Eames gathered her subordinates to give them a quick but effective lecture.

“How many times do I have to tell you? Cross check any leads you have with the other precincts. I don’t like showing up to a crime scene and the men on the ground have no idea I’m coming. I’m tired of having to put up with all this jurisdiction bullshit. Understood?”

“Yes Lieutenant,” mumbled her team, more or less in unison.

“Good, now get back to work. We’ve got plenty to keep us busy.”

One of the junior officers approached Eames with some files and caught her attention.

“Lieutenant?”

“Yes?”

“Here’s those files you wanted.”

“Thanks,” she sighed, taking the folders from him.

“And there’s a man waiting for you in your office.”

Still somewhat sidetracked as she flipped through the documents, she absent-mindedly responded, “Did he give his name?”

“No.”

A man who did not give his name when asked by an officer? Now that piqued her attention for a moment.

“How long has he been waiting?” she prodded her junior officer.

“About twenty minutes,” came the officer’s reply. “I told him you were out but he insisted on waiting.”

“Fine. I’ll take care of it,” Eames mumbled, already distracted from the conversation as she made a list of all the things she had to get done today. “Just like I take care of everything else.”

Leaving the officer behind, she strode to her office. Upon entering the room, her eyes still on the files, she started out by saying, “Sorry I kept you waiting. I—“

“Eames, you don’t need to apologize,” replied the tall dark-haired man in the well-tailored suit as he rose to his feet.

“Bobby!” she softly screeched in genuine delight. “What are you doing here? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”

A crooked smile played across his lips as he suggested, “I thought it might be nice to surprise you and offer to buy you lunch. If you’re free for lunch, that is.”

“For you, Bobby, I’ll make the time,” Eames declared. “Though I am surprised that you are not being accompanied by you-know-who. I thought the two of you were inseparable of late.”

Goren laughed, “She’s not Voldemort, you know. And, trust me, we are not inseparable. We are perfectly capable of respecting each other’s need for space.”

Raising her eyebrows, Eames shot her former partner a look that communicated her disbelief. However, she didn’t really want to press the issue.

Dismissively, she asked after the location of her bane’s whereabouts, “So where is she now?”

“Probably still in bed,” Goren stated with a shrug. “But I didn’t come here to talk about Katherine Elizabeth. I came here for you. So, tell me, working any good cases lately?”

Throwing the files on her desk, Eames turned to walk back out of her office, this time with Goren in tow.

“You have no idea,” she replied with a groan. “C’mon. I’ll tell you all about it over lunch.”

***

There was a little hole in the wall Vietnamese place not far from the Homeland Security Task Force office. It was a bit of a dive but it was close enough to walk to and the pho was phenomenal. If the scattering of blue uniforms upon their entry was any indication, this wasn’t only one of Eames’ favorite places to eat but also every cop’s in the district.

After placing their order, the former partners made their way to a table in the back.

“So tell me, how’s work?” Goren inquired.

“Don’t you get your fill of this type of stuff when you see Logan?” Eames chuckled. “I doubt the two of you talk about much of anything else.”

“To a certain extent, Logan isn’t working on open cases so most of his stuff is strictly need to know. Besides, if he comes to the house, as you well know, Katherine Elizabeth is typically there. He’s not one to talk shop when a civilian is around.”

“I thought you said she gave you space?” she said with a smirk.

Shifting a bit in his seat, Goren avoided eye contact as he replied, “Yeah, well, Logan’s not as averse to her presence as you are. He likes telling war stories about our time back at Major Case and she finds those interesting. Truth be told, I don’t mind those old stories either.”

“Old stories, huh?” Eames queried. Part of her was worried about her former partner trying to re-live his glory days rather than dealing with the ramifications of what had happened to him in Chicago.

“Okay,” she continued. “And what about Deakins, he’s still coming to see you, isn’t he?”

“On occasion,” Bobby answered just as their food arrived. “But tell me a bit about what you’re working on. Anything interesting?”

“Oh, you know,” she replied with a shrug, “just trying to figure out how illegal arms dealers are laundering their money.”

“Follow the money,” he nodded, “that’s smart. Tell me more.”

Launching into a detailed explanation, Eames thoroughly appreciated being able to discuss the case with her former partner over a meal. It was like old times. Well, at least it was until they were interrupted.

“As I live and breathe, Robert Goren. I thought that was you.”

One of the older beat cops had noticed them and had come over to their table.

“I’m sorry,” Bobby responded, his eyes scanning the officer as he quickly assessed the man, “do I know you?”

“Yeah, ya do,” the man groused, the scorn in his voice thinly veiled. “Back in 2005 I was first to arrive at a crime scene, then the two of you showed up. Do you know what you said to me?”

“Um… ‘good job, we’ll take it from here’?”

“ _2005_?” Eames wondered, looking the man over herself. “ _That’s a long time to hold a grudge_.”

“You told me I had disturbed the crime scene. I got written up because of that, ya know.”

“Listen, I’m sure —“ Bobby began but was cut off.

“I don’t want to hear it,” the office spat. “As far as I’m concerned, you got what was coming to you in Chicago. What I can’t wrap my mind around is why you’re here now. This place is for cops. Real ones, you know, the kind that can hold their own if something goes sideways.”

Eames could feel her face turning red as she stood up from her chair, her hand tingling as she prevented herself from reaching back to grab her weapon.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” she seethed. “And I suggest you get out of here before I teach you a lesson you won’t forget.”

“What?” the officer turned to mock Bobby. “Can’t stand up for yourself now either?”

“Lieutenant Eames is right,” Goren answered, his face impassive and his tone as cold as ice. “You should leave.”

“I have every right to be here. It’s you who should leave,” the man snarked.

“Fine,” Goren replied, rising to his towering height. “I was done eating anyway. You be sure to have a wonderful day.”

And with those parting words, he placed a few folded up bills on the table and stalked out of the restaurant with Eames close behind.

The still heat of early September summer air hit her like a wall the moment she stepped out of the restaurant. Her former partner was already three or four steps ahead of her and he made no sign of stopping.

“Bobby,” Eames exclaimed, hurrying to catch up with his long quick strides, “we didn’t have to leave. He was the one out of line, not you.”

“You think I don’t know that?” he shot back vehemently. “I just didn’t want to make a scene. Besides, some battles aren’t worth fighting.”

“That one was,” Eames argued. “Or did you think you deserve to be talked to like that?”

She was having a hard time deciding which aggravated her more: the fact that a beat cop had the nerve to be so insubordinate or the fact that Bobby’s reaction was, at best, subdued.

“No, I don’t. I was just taken a bit off guard,” he explained before he started making inquiries of his own. “How did he know Eames? How did he know? Katherine Elizabeth said they kept my name out of the papers. But apparently some beat cop I barely remember knows all about it. How?”

Uncertain how to approach the subject, she stammered, “Well… I… ah… the brass... they... um...?”

“Will you just tell me already?” Bobby asked stopping in his tracks and turning to face her.

“Gossip within the NYPD spreads like wildfire, you know that,” she sighed, knowing the words passing through her lips were neither a good explanation nor an excuse. “The brass did manage to reign it in. Don’t ask me how, I was in Chicago with you. But they did. Your name stayed out of the press. But…”

“But?” Goren pressed.

Once more she took a deep breath and sighed, not wanting to tell him the harsh truth.

“But by the time ADA Stone held that press conference, most of the department knew at least the bare bones of the situation and … and that it was you.”

Looking down at his shoes, Goren’s tone was flat as he asked, “Who leaked it?”

Eames knew that Bobby had always had a difficult relationship with anyone who was given authority over him in the department. And that fact wasn’t going to make what she was about to tell him any easier.

“My guess is that it was Peterson.”

“Captain Peterson, _my_ captain?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “He wasn’t too pleased about getting the sack.”

“When did this happen?”

“Right before I left for Chicago.”

Bobby scowled, “And you didn’t think to tell me?”

“I had other things on my mind,” Eames returned with an empathetic shrug.

Goren’s sullen tone underscored the devastating consequences of what he had just learned as he pushed for clarification, “So the whole of the NYPD knows? The entire department?”

“Well, probably not everyone,” she answered, trying to put the matter into perspective. “And it’s been over a year. Most people have forgotten by now.”

“That officer in there hadn’t forgotten,” Goren bitterly countered.

Sighing heavily, Eames tried to keep the resignation from her voice.

“What do you want me to do, Bobby? I can’t change the past.”

“I want you to stop trying to protect me. I can take care of myself.”

“Oh!” She challenged, “Like you did back there?”

“Hey, I walked out of there with my head high and my dignity intact. And no one can tell me differently, not even you.”

“I’m not saying—“

“Eames, just drop it,” Bobby cut her off. “It was just a miserable man trying to drag others down to his level. That’s all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back home.”

“Come on, Bobby. Don’t go.”

“It was good having lunch with you. I’ll see you later in the week when you drop by the house,” he replied determinedly in farewell before leaving her where she stood.

***

By the time he got home and through the front door, Goren had calmed down a bit but those feelings of anger and frustration still lingered. What that man at the restaurant had said to him was no worse than the terrible banter between him and his sister, less even. However, the officer’s words had stung more than any remark Katherine Elizabeth had ever said to him.

Sighing deeply, he mounted the steps and, upon reaching the second-floor landing, turned right and went immediately to his sister’s room. Knocking but not waiting for an answer, he pushed the door open. The sight that met his eyes was not what he had expected but still not surprising.

Because of the late hour she had returned home the night before, it wasn’t all that remarkable that Katherine Elizabeth was still sound asleep in bed. However, instead of wearing her usual pajamas, she was clothed in a men’s dress shirt. Given the fact that she wasn’t the only one in her bed, it was probably lucky that she wasn’t completely naked. From the looks of him, the semi-nude dark haired man curled around her slumbering form was none other than Colin Jones.

“Hey kids,” Goren said loudly, knocking on the door frame, “time to get up. It’s well past noon.”

Irritated, he didn’t bother seeing if they got up before turning and going back down the stairs. He found himself in the kitchen and began to haphazardly check the fridge, put the kettle on the stove, and unloading the dish rack. By the time the kettle began to whistle, he could hear footstep padding down the staircase and towards the kitchen.

Turning to see Colin, Bobby wasn’t overly pleased to see the man still in a relative state of undress. Clothed in merely boxers and a wife-beater, the younger man grabbed a stool and took a seat at the counter. Immediately, placing his head on the counter and covering it with his arms, Colin let out a low groan.

“Remind me never to get that pissed ever again.”

Grabbing a mug and a tea bag from the cupboard, Goren set the items in front of the hungover young man before picking up the kettle and filling the mug.

“Ah, cheers, mate,” Jones muttered in appreciation.

It wasn’t that Goren approved of his little sister paying for the company of the man at the counter but he also wasn’t so naïve to think that the Brit was her only sexual partner. Katherine Elizabeth had been taking advantage of Bobby’s growing independence and, at least once or twice a week, she would step out of the house for hours on end. And while he was always able to get a hold of her via text message, part of him preferred that she stay in relatively close proximity. Admittedly, he would occasionally check the location of her whereabouts on the tracker application she had set up on his phone. Telling himself that if she didn’t want to know where she was, then she would’ve disabled that particular feature.

Taking into account the locations she visited and the amount of time she remained at those locations, it was safe to say that Miss Katherine Elizabeth Basil was a bit more promiscuous than she led others to believe. Not that she discussed these things with her brother. And, honestly, he preferred it that way. Last time he tried to convey his inclination to make sure she was safe and taking precautions, she went off on him. She had strong opinions on what she considered puritanical, misogynistic, and patriarchal ideals that led men to believe that had some sort of ownership over their female relatives’ sexual purity.

Knowing that she still spent the majority of her waking hours with him, Goren didn’t begrudge her taking the time she needed to satisfy those sorts of particular appetites. And though Katherine Elizabeth typically kept these appetites separate from her home life, Colin was always the exception to the rule.

Clearly, Basil favored Colin more than other men since he was the only one Goren had ever met. Consequently, it wasn’t unusual for the struggling actor turned male escort to come by the brownstone multiple times a month. After a while, Bobby simply became accustomed to Colin’s presence.

“So,” Bobby asked, “you had a good birthday then?”

“Good? Bobby, it was brilliant,” Colin said, his tone wistful.

“That so?”

“Mmmhmm. When I told Katherine Elizabeth that I wasn’t looking forward to going stag to my own party, I never expected her to volunteer to be my date. And when we got there, she was engaging and complimentary. All my friends loved her, though that’s not surprising considering she bought everyone a few rounds of drinks. She even held my hand and laughed at my jokes like we were really a couple. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.”

Not for the first time, Goren picked up on the indications that Colin’s feelings for his sister surpassed what was appropriate in their professional relationship. The Brit wasn’t exactly subtle.

“Do your friends know?”

“Hmm?” Colin replied as he took a sip of his tea. “Know what?”

“Do they know what you do for a living?”

“Bugger that!” Jones exclaimed. “I mean, they know I’m an actor. But I live in the village, so most of us are waiting tables, washing dishes, or picking up odd jobs here and there to make rent.”

“Most people don’t resort to turning tricks,” Bobby muttered under his breath.

“Pardon?”

“Nothing. I just wondered ifyour friends thought it odd that you brought trust fund kid from Brooklyn as your date.”

“I doubt it,” Colin replied with a shrug. “They were all drunk enough by the end of the night that I doubt they’d care.”

“They all get home alright?” Goren questioned, somehow unable to prevent himself from instinctively being concerned about the safety of others.

Honestly, mate, I don’t remember. One thing is for sure is Katherine Elizabeth didn’t drive anyone home,” Colin said with a smirk. “I know she only just got her permit but even accounting for that, her driving abilities are total shite.”

“You should be careful. You wouldn’t want Katherine Elizabeth to hear you swearing.”

“Nah, she’s still out of it,” Jones remarked dismissively before wrapping both hands around his steaming mug and taking a long drink.

Neither man spoke for a moment or two. Goren was glad to let the conversation fall.

“You doing alright, mate?” Colin wondered aloud, eyeing the other man intently. “You’re looking a little more tense than usual.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Listen, I don’t know if you’re so inclined but I’ll have you know I don’t discriminate. So if you need to relieve some tension, I wouldn’t be opposed to—“ Jones finished the sentence by gesturing his fist towards his mouth and pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek to make it bulge.

Despite the casualness of Colin’s remark, Bobby couldn’t help his immediate and knee jerk reaction. His knees felt weak and as he quickly backed away from the man across the counter, causing him to trip over his own two feet.

“Whoa, Bobby. I didn’t —“

“What’s going on?” a groggy voice added unexpectedly.

***

When Bobby had knocked on her door, Katherine Elizabeth wasn’t exactly thrilled to be awoken. However, it was clear that her older brother was in a foul mood and she couldn’t justify going back to sleep without finding out why. Then Colin had gotten out of bed and that settled the matter.

Grabbing a pair of panties from off the floor, she slid the tight-fitting underwear up and over her legs, around her hips, and underneath Colin’s dress shirt. Modesty wasn’t exactly her top priority but she knew her older brother could be old-fashioned at times. Last thing she wanted was for him to grumble at her for not being ‘decent.’

Attempts were made at combing her fingers through her hair in order to tidy it up a bit but, eventually, she gave up. Her stomach growled and she was too hungry at the moment to spend any more time on her appearance. Finding her way down the stairs, her bare feet had just touched the landing when she heard to _whump_ of something large falling to the ground. Quickly entering the kitchen, she found Bobby on the floor and Colin scooting off his seat from across the counter. Still, she was unsure as to what had happened.

As no one was offering an explanation, she asked, “What’s going on?”

Colin was first to answer, rushing to explain though his features displayed confusion just as well as her own.

“I was asking if Bobby wanted a blow job when—“

Before she could stop it, laughter bubbled up and pushed its way out of her and into the surrounding air.

She giggled, “That’s perfect. Bobby could use one of those since I doubt he’s had one within the last decade.”

Stepping forward with her hand extended, she intended on helping her brother get back to his feet. Instead, she had her hand batted aside as he got back up on his own. Despite her efforts to lighten the mood, the look on his face said it all. He was neither amused nor angry. Instead, he looked like he had been punched in the gut, hard.

“Bobby, I—“

“No.”

“But…”

Turning, Goren quickly exited the room, roughly brushing past Katherine Elizabeth in the process. Knowing better than to follow him, she stood frozen, listening to him stomp up the stairs. A moment later, a loud bang of a door being slammed echoed from above and then came the sound water running, indicated that he had gone into his bathroom and had started the shower.

Feeling her stomach fall and a lump form in her throat, she tried to grasp what had just happened.

“Mother of sin, Colin. Why do I say stupid stuff like that?”

Ruffling his hair as he came round to stand next to her, Colin guiltily remarked, “You’re not the one that offered a straight man a blow job. He really didn’t like that.”

“No, he did not,” she replied as she ran through the short sequence of events in her mind. Typically, if she crossed a line, Bobby would just tell her to knock it off. Him storming out of the room was such an uncommon reaction that she knew there was more at play than a goodwill solicitation and a joke.

“I’m sure it’s not about you,” Katherine Elizabeth added. “Something must be going on with him. Do you mind if I kick you out?”

Quirking an eyebrow at her, Jones wordlessly questioned her request.She almost expected him to argue or press for more information but he didn’t. He had known her long enough that he knew she wouldn’t be receptive to such conduct. 

Finally, playing nonchalant, he replied, “Not at all, love. I should get going anyway.”

“Thanks, Colin,” she returned with a sigh, glad she had one less thing she had to deal with. “I’ve got to go put out a fire.”

Letting her companion exit the kitchen first, Katherine Elizabeth followed close behind him as they made their way up the stairs. Churning over what she would say to her brother in her head, she didn’t get to fully relish the sight of Colin’s plump ass as he climbed the steps in front of her.

As Colin made his way down the hallway to her room to get dressed, Basil stopped at the bathroom door.

“Bobby, are you okay? Can we talk?”

No answer.

“Bobby, please. I’m sorry, alright.”

Still no answer, which raised her concern.

“Bobby?” she called a bit more urgently, wiggling the doorknob and finding it locked. “Bobby, if you don’t respond I’m coming in!”

Still, no answer came. Left with very few alternatives, Katherine Elizabeth reached up and slid her fingers along the small ledge of the doorframe. Ignoring the dust that gathered on her fingertips, she blindly felt for an object she wasn’t entirely sure was there in the first place.

Not finding what she was looking for, she tried to call through the door again.

“Bobby, seriously? Please—“

Distracted momentarily from her efforts, Katherine Elizabeth’s attention was diverted as Colin made his way back down the hall, the floorboards creaking in his wake. Now fully clothed (except for the dress shirt that she still wore), he made his way over to her. Bending down slightly he brushed his lips across her cheek.

“I’ll see you next time,” he whispered.

“Okay,” she whispered back as she turned her head to kiss his lips. “Can you lock the door on your way out?”

“Of course.”

Watching him walk away, Katherine Elizabeth called out softly, stopping him before he went down the stairs.

“Colin, one last thing.”

“Hmm?”

“Happy Birthday.”

A brightness lit up the man’s face as he smiled before heading down to the first-floor landing.

With Colin gone, Basil huffed as she knocked and rattled the handle on the bathroom door once more.

“Bobby,” she called loudly through the wooden timbers, “I really need to talk to you.”

This tactic wasn’t working and so she reached up one more time, skimming her fingers back and forth along the narrow ledge until she finally found the item for which she was looking. Holding the slim, short metal rod with a flatted end in her palm, Katherine Elizabeth hunched over in order to be at eye level with the small hole in the knob itself.

Sliding the tapered end of the rudimentary key into _the minute opening, she attempted to keep it straight as she pushed it forward. It was a difficult task, trying to fit the key into the niche of the lock when she couldn’t see what she was doing. Eventually, she positioned the key just right and was able to catch the mechanism and turn it.

“Hey,” she said softly as she opened the door and stepped inside the room. Her brother’s suit coat, tie, belt, and shoes lay discarded haphazardly as if they had been pulled off in a frenzy. The shower curtain had been drawn and the sounds of spraying water filled the room.

“I’m really sorry I upset you,” she told him.

Still no response.

Common sense told her that he just wanted to be left alone but, given his history, she could not just let him be. Despite not believing Bobby would ever hurt himself, there was still that level of concern and she was still responsible for him. Consequently, she took a few steps over to the bathtub and tapped the curtain.

“If you’re naked… cover yourself because I’m going to peek in on you and make sure you didn’t accidentally hurt yourself, okay? And then, if you want me to leave you alone to cry in the shower I will.”

Waiting for half a beat, Katherine Elizabeth drew the curtain back and looked inside the bathtub. His knees drawn up to his chest and his head buried between them, Bobby sat there, shivering as the water soaked through the shirt, pants, and socks he was still wearing.

This wasn’t the first time her brother had gotten into a shower fully clothed. Recalling the incident at the institute, she hoped Bobby wasn’t having another relapse. That would be heartbreaking. Though she was not present the during the previous episode, she knew what had caused it and hoped this current predicament was not as precarious as the last. Then, Fray had ended up calling Eames to resolve the situation. Now, Katherine Elizabeth was determined not to let it get that far.

Acting instinctively, she pulled the curtain back a bit further and stepped inside. Hissing as her bare feet touched the freezing cold water, she twisted the shower handle in order to turn the temperature up and sat down facing her brother. It was cramped but if she put her legs on either side of his, they both fit.

“Bobby,” she spoke softly, reaching out and rubbing the smooth skin of his wrist. She had switched to Latin, hoping it might coax him to talk to her. “I’m sorry I laughed. I never intended to —“

“It’s been less than a decade,” Goren’s muffled voice interjected.

Breathing a sigh of relief that Bobby hadn’t managed to fall back on his old ways of refusing to communicate, Katherine Elizabeth didn’t quite understand what he was referring to and asked for clarification, “What has?”

Sniffing tearfully, he timidly replied, “Since I got a blow job.”

“Oh, okay,” Katherine Elizabeth said as she honestly did not expect to be having a conversation her bother’s love life, “I didn’t mean to imply—“

When Goren spoke again, it was hard not to hear the bitterness in his voice, even if he is tone was more composed.

“The Daddies liked to make me feel good.”

“Oh!” She exclaimed, more than a little surprised as Barrett and Kipling were not to whom she thought Bobby had been referring and especially not by those familial names. “I’m sorry, Bobby. I didn’t think that—“

“That they would suck me off?” he cut in harshly, completing her sentence. He took a deep breath and she could tell he was using every fiber of his being in an effort to compose himself. “I was there for two years. And in that time, they touched me everywhere and in every way because they wanted that control. They wanted to show me that I wasn’t in control of anything, not even my own body or the way it responded.”

It wasn’t easy, talking about Barrett and Kipling. She was well-versed in their cruelty but she needed to be here for her brother and not get bogged down in her own feeling. Pushing down all the pain they had caused her, she responded, “That must’ve made you feel powerless.”

“And ashamed. I just…"

“You know it’s common for victims to feel that way,” Katherine Elizabeth said meekly, practically feeling the waves of her brother’s anguish washing over her. “But it’s not your fault. Any shame is theirs, not yours. Okay, Bobby? It’s not yours.”

Finally lifting his head to look at her, she could see the tears clinging to his lashes despite the warm spray that enveloped them both.

Goren shook his head and said, “They never mention it, in that support group… they never mention how you can never shake that feeling of having your own body betray you. How you can never feel clean, no matter how many showers you take.”

“Is that why you’re upset when you came home? Did you decide to go back to that support group this morning?’

“No. I went to see Eames.”

“ _Eames?!_ ” Katherine Elizabeth thought, surprised not at the idea of Bobby leaving alone to go see his closest friend but that the pocket-sized lieutenant had done something that would upset him so much that he would come home in such a state of distress.

“And?” she asked, pushing for more context.

“And…” He hesitated but finally explained, “And it started off good, you know? Like old times, sitting down discussing a case and sharing a meal. Made me miss being a cop.”

Knowing there was more to the story, Basil couldn’t help but to make note of her brother’s statement about missing his old profession. But she couldn’t dwell on that she had to get to the bottom of the situation.

“And then something happened to change that?”

“Another officer confronted us,” Bobby answered. Telling the story slowly and taking pauses as he gathered his wits, “Apparently, despite my name not being in the paper, the vast majority of the NYPD knows I was abducted. And that officer, well, he said some things that insinuated that I had… that I had deserved what happened in Chicago because … because I wasn’t good at my job.”

Without missing a beat, she shot back, “Well, that dick-head can take a long walk off a short pier. His assumptions are patently false.”

Bobby snorted bemusedly a bit at her statement but it warmed her heart that his reaction was one of humor and not derision.

“Um, can I just back-pedal a bit and address that rather serious matter you oh so briefly mentioned?” Katherine Elizabeth asked somewhat confuse by Bobby’s previous admission. “The majority of the NYPD knows that you were the one found in Chicago? Surely not.”

Breaking eye contact, Bobby bowed his head as the water ran down his dark curls and plastered them to his head. Realizing his hair was long enough for the curls to start forming, Katherine Elizabeth made a mental note to take him to get it cut again. A few months earlier she had found a barber that agreed not to use an electric trimmer and that had made all the difference.

With a sigh, her brother finally nodded in the affirmative in regards to her question.

“Are you certain about this? I thought the infamous _blue wall_ would’ve protected you from this sort of crap.”

“Yes,” came his sullen reply. “After the confrontation with the officer, I asked Eames about it and she wouldn’t lie to me. I guess I shouldn’t be that surprised. I wasn’t exactly popular during my time on the force.”

Empathy, it wasn’t a feeling she had much experience with since it did not come naturally to her. Grandfather had always said some feelings have to be learned. He used to encourage her to go through the motions even if she didn’t have the feeling behind her actions, telling her it would come eventually. Try as she might, empathy was one of the emotions that never came and expressing sympathy towards others just left her feeling hollow.

This, however, had never been true with Bobby. Around him, she felt such an expanse of emotion that it sometimes threatened to overwhelm her. Probably a side effect of that cell memory phenomena he had once told her about, the empathy she felt now was very real. And when she asked her next question, she could feel his answer before he voiced it.

“How does it make you feel: finding out that many of your peers have known about what happened in Chicago?”

“Like I’m never going to get out from underneath the looming shadow of what the Daddies did to me.”

“I’ve been there,” she replied softly. “But I don’t think what happened to you today had much to do with Barrett and Kipling. What did you do when Officer Dickhead brought it up?”

Mulling over his response before he spoke, Goren explained, “I didn’t want to cause a scene so I got up and left.”

Glad to hear him sound more composed and that he handled himself as well as one could hope for, given the circumstances, there was one last thing she wanted to know.

“What about Eames, what did she do?”

“She was angry,” Bobby conveyed with a sigh. “But at least she kept herself from drawing her weapon and shooting the guy.”

Basil’s eyebrows went up and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. Alexandra Eames and her were not exactly on good terms but there was no denying that the lieutenant had some admirable qualities. Though it was hard to respect someone who regarded her with such open animosity, Katherine Elizabeth couldn’t help but feel aligned with the other woman when it came to this particular defense of her brother. Though if it had been her in Eames’ shoes, she probably would’ve just shot the bastard.

Realizing Bobby had come to the end of his story, Katherine Elizabeth didn’t need to speculate as she finished telling the sequence of events that had led them to their current situation.

“And then you got home and Colin… Sorry, about that,” she said, feeling a twinge of guilt for having been the reason her brother had crossed paths with her favorite sex worker.

“It’s not like he knew,” Goren rationalized.

“I know he doesn’t but even then, he didn’t mean any harm. And I can guarantee he won’t make that same mistake twice.”

“I guess,” Bobby relented as he breathed a deep sigh.

She was fully aware of the complexity and weight of the day’s events and decided it was best to let the conversation fall. Knowing her brother didn’t particularly relish discussion that included the esteemed Mr. Jones, Katherine Elizabeth wasn’t about to push the issue either.

Instead, Basil leaned in towards her older brother and rested her head against his. Closing her eyes, she focused on the stray droplets from the shower head above them and wondered if Bobby would take comfort in the warmth the water provided. She hoped that what she was feeling now was just the dispersement of all the tension her brother was holding.

“Katherine Elizabeth?”

“Mmm?”

“Can you get out? Your shirt’s all wet and it’s gone see through.”

Incredulously, she grinned at him.

“They’re just a pair of tits.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed, “a pair I have absolutely no interest in seeing. Get out.”

“Fine,” Katherine Elizabeth stated coolly as she stood and pulled back the curtain. “Though I don’t think you should be one to complain seeing as you’re the one who got into the shower with clothes on in the first place.”

“Get out,” he growled, his tone gruff but with just the slightest hint of playfulness.

“I’m gone, alright!” she laughed, stepping out and grabbing a towel. “All gone, okay? But come find me when you’re done sulking.”

“Out!”

***

As his sister slipped out of the room, Bobby heaved a heavy sigh, slid down, and leaned back against the side of the tub. Why did he have to behave in such a way that caused his own sister to feel it necessary to get _into_ the shower with him? Forget sleeping in the same bed with her, this had definitely crossed a line. Despite having a feeling of resolution after their discussion, unease gnawed at his belly.

“ _Bobby_ ,” Goren whispered to himself, “ _you need to be careful around her. Her boundaries aren’t where they should be._ ”

Shaking his head, he knew it was necessary for him to be the one that not only adhered to the rules but enforced them as well. He really should have told her not to come inside the bathroom. But in that moment, he had been too busy trying to muffle the sobs that wracked his body so she could not hear him in the first place.

Still, the hurt he had harbored when he had first entered the bathroom had dissipated to the point he felt like he could breathe again and in no small measure was Katherine Elizabeth to thank for that. The tension that had eased from his body left him feeling shaky, which only made it more difficult to remove the remaining sopping wet garments that clung to his frame.

Figuring his clothing was wet anyway, Goren left the items to pool at the bottom of the tub as he used the handle above the soap dish to pull himself upright. As he closed his eyes, he leaned face first into the stream of water that flowed from the shower head. The water was beginning to cool and he reached forward to crank the handle all the way to the left in order to maximize the heat in the few minutes he had left before the hot water ran out.

Grabbing the soap, he frothed up the bar in his hands before working it along the hairless skin of his body, keeping his eyes closed as he did so. He already knew the lasting signs of his abuse without having to bear personal witness to it for the umpteenth time. All he wanted was to feel clean and if he could he would scrub his skin until it was raw. But that particular desire was in direct opposition to his need to stay clothed and covered.

In the end, Goren only spent a few more minutes before turning off the water and clambering out of the tub and wrapping himself in a towel. Spying the trail of puddles that Katherine Elizabeth had left behind, he rolled his eyes as he made his way over to the door and making sure it was completely shut and locked. He knew her prior intrusion was one of necessity, however, he didn’t fancy making it a common occurrence.

“ _Well_ ,” he thought before sauntering over to the sink, “ _at least I’m not huddled in the corner, half naked with a blanket over my head_.”

Taking his hand, he wiped some of the steam off of the mirror, trickles of condensation running down the smooth surface. Stare at his reflection, he wondered how he had ever been recognized. He looked nothing like the detective he once was. Cocking his head to the side, it dawned on him that he also did not look like the boy Chicago PD pulled from that basement.

The man in front of him now was just that, a man. Granted, he didn’t have facial hair but he had sported the clean-shaven look for many years and had only started growing it out once he got tired of the daily hassle of shaving.

Straightening his shoulders and examined his reflection, Goren made up his mind. Katherine Elizabeth was right, it was time for him to stop letting the shame get the best of him. He had gotten through Chicago, there was no reason why he couldn’t handle a few incivilities thrown his direction.


	11. The Second Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A second young woman is attacked but the same unknown perpetrator.

Heart racing, he gripped the handle of his blade.

“Steady,” he told himself, feeling flush despite the relative coolness of the early autumn air. The humid heat that permeated the subway’s underground platforms still clung to his skin and clothes. Nervously he wiped his brow as he waited for his angel to approach.

This wasn’t going to be like the last time he attempted to consecrate and cleanse a chosen sacrifice. He was the Lord’s vessel and the Lord would give him the strength and mental fortitude he required to complete the task placed before him, even if that meant resorting to drastic measures.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

She was pretty, prettier than the violinist. And he couldn’t help but admire the woman’s skill and flawless technique in her application of cosmetics. Many men might overlook such details but not him. No, he took great care in learning about the lives of his angels. It only made sense that, since he was the Lord’s servant responsible for bringing their eternal souls to the alter, he also take the time to appreciate an angel’s life choices.

The only thing he took greater care in cultivating was the time and location of his sacrificial rituals. His last attempt had led to police involvement. The NYPD was a tool of the Beelzebub, the malignant father of evil and corruption. The police were part of the secular world the Lord had called upon him to cleanse by transfiguring angels to an exalted state of being.

It hadn’t been easy, admitting to himself that the manner in which he had attempted to cleanse the violinist had been a mistake. However, that mistake had become abundantly clear to him when he realized that the NYPD had been soliciting information from the public regarding that previous encounter. This time around, he would not permit the sacrifice to escape her fate.He could not have another fallen angel bearing false witness against him.

Surveying carefully from a small gap between the doors, he watched as the slender brunette brushed her bangs away from her eyes. Her gaze was locked on the view before her, not paying any attention to the abandoned building off to her right or the man standing behind the slightly ajar door. Consequently, there was little time for her to resist before his knife penetrated her flesh.

By the time he had her inside, there was more blood than he had expected. However, he didn’t let it phase him as he pushed up her skirt and quickly consecrated her body unto the Lord. As he repeatedly thrust his sacred tool into her vessel, it was an honor to watch her soul being exalted as the light faded from behind her dark brown eyes.

***

Visiting the morgue was a dreaded part of Sonny’s assigned duties as a detective for Manhattan’s Special Victim’s Unit. He couldn’t quite pinpoint exactly what it was about the city structure that bothered him so but he mostly thought it was the smell, which was absolutely horrid. It was unsettling that a place that appeared so clinical and sterile would have such a lingering yet pungent odor. To put it simply, it made his skin crawl.

On the other hand, his partner, Amanda Rollins, found his hesitancy to enter the building exasperating.

“Carisi,” she asked pointedly as she held open the door, “what are you doing?”

“I’m just trying to brace myself,” Sonny shot back as he stood at the bottom of the steps. “Do you think if I breathe through my mouth the whole time that I won’t be able to smell it?”

Rollins rolled her eyes, “This is New York. Everywhere smells bad.”

“Does not.”

“Well, it sure as hell smells a lot worse than Atlanta. Now buck up buttercup, we’ve got work to do.”

Heaving a sigh, Sonny followed his partner into the building. This wasn’t going to be pleasant.

By the time the pair of them had reached Doctor Warner’s examination room, an antiseptic chamber with a few steel tables, Carisi was feeling decidedly nauseous from the lingering bitter smell of formaldehyde. Still, Rollins was the senior partner and he couldn’t really argue with her when it came to following basic investigational procedures. If only they had caught a case where the victim was alive and not deceased.

Melinda Warner wasn’t in the vicinity when they got there and Carisi and Rollins found themselves awkwardly waiting around for the medical examiner to arrive. Their only company was the corpse laying on one of the metal examination tables covered with a light blue sheet. Sonny kept bringing his hand up to his face, trying to discretely cover his nose from the smell.

“Carisi,” Amanda hissed, “will you knock that off? It’s not like we’re in the coolers downstairs where all the bodies are stored. You can barely smell anything in here. I’m telling you, it’s mostly in your head.”

Sonny opened his mouth to reply when he was cut short by the appearance of Doctor Warner, bespectacled in a white lab coat and with a folder in her hand.

“Ah,” the doctor announced as she entered the room, “there you are. I was expecting you two a bit earlier but it was probably for the best.”

“Why’s that?” Rollins asked.

“I’ll tell you in a second,” Warner replied, walking over to the deceased and folding the sheet down so they could see the victim’s face. Then opening up the folder, she quickly scanned the notes on the page before saying, “First let’s go over the victim’s file: Diana Wright, 24. Cause of death: exsanguination. That you already knew.”

“Kind of hard to miss, Doc,” Carisi added as his mind flashed back to the crime scene a few days prior. The victim had been found in a pool of blood, her skirt hoisted up around her waist, underwear torn. It hadn’t been a pretty sight.

“She was stabbed multiple times,” Warner continued. “Seven to be exact. In my opinion, this was not an experienced killer. The depth of the wounds wasn’t uniform and the placement was rather haphazard.”

“Crime of passion?” Sonny suggested.

“No,” Amanda replied. “There’s usually more than a handful of wounds in those instances.”

“Crime of opportunity then?

“I doubt it was spontaneous,” Warner added. “Most people don’t commit murder on a whim.”

“What about signs of sexual assault?” Rollins wondered. “Did you find those as well?”

Nodding solemnly, Warner answered, “Yes. Vaginal tearing and fluids were present.The lab results just came in.”

“Any hits?”

“As a matter of fact...” the doctor answered, handing over the file.

Rollins took the file in her hand and read over the print out before saying, “DNA matches samples taken from another victim’s violin case back in April.”

“Violin case?” Carisi replied, pulling the file away from Amanda so he could get a look at it himself. “Nicki Hart, I remember her. She came in late one night and talked with Benson and me almost six months ago. But we weren’t able to make much headway investigating the case.”

“The real question is,” Amanda added, “how does someone go from attempted rape and then six months later murder? That’s one hell of an escalation.”

“You’re telling me,” Sonny answered, glancing over and down at the still and pale form of the deceased make-up artist.

His heart twisted at the thought of how not being able to solve Nicki’s assault had led to this woman’s murder. He had not always been sensitive when it came to dealing with victims but he had improved over the last year with Manhattan SVU. The nature of the job, however, entailed more than just being sympathetic, a vital part of it was going through the process of getting statements. And a dead woman could definitely not give a verbal statement.

Sonny sighed, his and Rollins’ job had just become much more difficult. Not that there hadn’t been pressure to solve Hart’s prior case but there was now more urgency in finding the perpetrator since he had now escalated to murder. Carisi said a silent prayer that they would be able to find the man sooner rather than later.

***

“Bobby,” Katherine Elizabeth called, striding into the foyer of the Basil Institute. “You ready to go?”

“Mmhmm,” Goren muttered from his seated position, too engrossed in the newspaper article he was reading to give his sister a proper answer.

Walking up behind him, Basil leaned against the back of the couch.

“Dr. Fray wanted to go over a bunch of details for the endowment foundation fundraiser we’re having in a few months. I guess the events coordinator wanted approval before finalizing the music, catering, and guest list though I couldn’t care less who shows up. Anyway, get this, Fray wants me to give a speech.”

“Mmhmm,” he answered again, his mind still more preoccupied with the words on the page rather than the words Katherine Elizabeth spoke.

“Bobby!” Basil prodded as she pulled the paper from his hands. “Have you been listening to anything I’ve been saying?”

“What? Sorry,” Goren apologized, turning around to look at her. “You were saying something about giving a speech?”

“Never mind,” Katherine Elizabeth grumbled as she noted which part of the paper he had been reading. “Why were you reading the crime section?”

“Because it’s interesting,” he answered. “And because my session was over twenty minutes ago and I had nothing better to do.”

Scanning the page, she said, “You think a woman getting dragged into an abandoned building and stabbed to death is interesting?”

“You don’t?”

Smirking slightly, Katherine Elizabeth didn’t answer his question but instead, her face turned thoughtful as she said, “Bobby, you’ve come a long way. But I would just hate for something as simple as a newspaper article to trigger another meltdown.”

“Trust me,” Goren answered as he took the paper from her, before then folding it and placing it back on the coffee table before him. “I know my limits.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, to be sure, but an interesting one I hope. As always, comments are deeply appreciated and highly encouraged.


	12. Indomitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Attending the annual endowment-foundation charity event for the Institute, Bobby finds himself having to adapt quickly to changing circumstances.

Standing in the walk-in closet of his bedroom, Goren slipped into the jacket of his black tuxedo before straightening his bowtie for the umpteenth time in the mirror. He had never had a reason to own such formal attire before, however, Katherine Elizabeth had insisted on purchasing the outfit. She had said that she could not have him looking like he had walked in off of the street.

Since he was to accompany his sister to the Institute’s black-tie charity event this year, he was feeling rather anxious. Being in a room crowded with members of New York City high society was not his idea of a walk in the park. But it was for a good cause since this event not only raised money for the charitable endowment, of which Basil was the chairperson, but also NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Besides, it would reflect poorly on Katherine Elizabeth if she attended such an event unaccompanied.

The sounds of high-heels hitting the worn carpet of the stairs indicated that his sister was making her way down from the third floor. Walking out of his closet and towards his bedroom door, Bobby pulled it open to see his sister come down the hallway towards him, a few trinkets in hand.

She had on a full-length black dress, the shoulders and long sleeves of which were made of some sort of semi-sheer material. It was rather a conservative outfit for her tastes but it suited her nicely.

“Well, don’t you look dapper,” Basil said with a smile as she approached him. “And would you look at that, you’ve even got your bow-tie done all by yourself.”

“Don’t act so surprised. I’m perfectly capable of getting dressed on my own.”

“Too bad I can’t say the same,” she laughed, as she stopped in front of him and did an abrupt about-face. “Would you mind helping me out here?”

Her dress was still undone, as she evidently could not reach the small black fabric-covered buttons that fastened the dress together in the back. Stepping right up behind her, Bobby maneuvered the small buttons through the loops and covered the bare skin just below the nape of her neck.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to wear this dress before since I need help putting it on,” Katherine Elizabeth remarked. “The fabric isn’t so see-through that you can see the scars, is it?”

“No, kiddo,” Bobby remarked, a little sad. It was a pity that his sister had such prominent scarring that it kept her from wearing what she wanted; she didn’t want people asking questions about scars she didn’t want them to see.

Speaking of scars, he pulled at cuffs of his dress shirt hoping that they were long enough to cover the ones on his wrists.

“Ah,” Basil declared, seeing his movements and showing him the items she had gotten from upstairs. “I grab these cufflinks from my grandfather’s dresser. They’re rather plain but I think they’ll do nicely. And a watch as well, you could use a rather nice timepiece for a bit of pizzazz, don’t you think?”

“I have a watch,” Bobby insisted but remained pliant. Holding out his arms, he waited for his sister to attach the cufflinks and then buckle the watch onto his wrist.

“You know, this isn’t like the one knock-off you bought from some bum. No, this, this is the real McCoy.”

“My watch keeps time just as well as any Rolex or Schaffhausen.”

“Shaffhousen? What is that, German? No, Bobby, this, this is Cartier. Besides, I’m not giving it to you. It’s just on loan for the night.”

“Fine,” Goren relented as he looked down at the rectangular face of the watch with its Roman dial markers,chronograph, and date features. “Did you set the time on this?”

“I spent a couple of minutes tinkering with it before I came downstairs, just to make sure the battery was still working. So, it should be right.”

“Then we had better get going. Heaven help us if we’re not on time. Dr. Fray was very adamant we not be late.”

“Cool your jets. I’ve got a few things to do yet and I’m not above making an entrance.”

Huffing with annoyance, Bobby rolled his eyes. It was just like his younger sibling to pull a stunt like this.

“Oh, come on Katherine Elizabeth, you’re killing me,” Goren said, fiddling with the cufflinks, not wanting to look his sister in the eye. “Maybe it would be better if I didn’t go at all?”

Snorting softly in disbelief, Basil replied, “I don’t know why are anxious about going. It’s just a party.”

“Yeah but you want me to lie about who I am; just so I can impress a bunch of people I don’t know.”

“Would you prefer to tell people the truth? Because, as I recall, you’re the one who wanted to keep our biological relationship a secret.”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Bobby said with a sigh. “I mean telling people I’m a writer doing research when I’m not.”

“Hey, come on now,” Katherine Elizabeth comforted, reached forward and running her hand up and down his arm. “It’s not a lie, okay? We go to the library at least once a week and you’ve always got your nose stuck in a book. That counts as research. And you’ve written plenty of stuff in the past, it’s just a little on the obscure side.”

“Police reports don’t count, kiddo.”

“Sure they do. Don’t worry, Bobby. It will be fine. Besides, it’s too late to change my mind now.”

Shrugging, he didn’t reply.

“Tell you what: go out, bring the car around, and start warming it up. By the time you’ve done that, I’ll be ready to go.”

***

Positioned next to the entryway in order to greet the guests as they arrived, Everett Fray stared through the glass paneling as he awaited the proprietor and the man charged to her care. Or was it the other way around? These days, it seemed that Robert Goren was doing just as much, if not more, to look after Katherine Elizabeth than she did him.

Glancing around the Institute’s recently re-arranged atrium at the gathering guests, all clustered along the walls with the tables and chairs or around the bar, he wondered if any of them had taken notice of Basil’s absence. Hopefully not, considering the event had only just begun twenty minutes prior.

Assuming the pair would arrive in one of the black town cars Miss Basil typically hired, or maybe even a limousine, Fray was rather surprised when he saw Roger’s beloved charcoal gray Aston Martin pull up along the curb. He hadn’t expected Katherine Elizabeth to let anyone near that car, let alone drive it. But, apparently, he was mistaken.

Not bothering to put on an overcoat before stepping out into the cold January night’s air, Fray watched as Goren stepped out of the car and handed the keys to the valet. The director couldn’t help but smile softly at the subdued by excited murmuring around him that was typical given the sudden appearance of such a spectacular vehicle.

The former detective sure did clean up nicely but it was nothing in comparison to how Katherine Elizabeth looked as she emerged from the left-side of the Aston Martin. Bobby had assisted the young proprietor by opening her door and taking her hand before then accompanying her over to the pavement in front of the Institute.

“Good evening, Miss Basil,” Fray greeted her as he looked over her appearance approvingly. “I must say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so proper and dignified.”

He wasn’t just saying that either. The elegant black evening dress she wore, coupled with the manner in which her hair was asymmetrically pinned back and the dainty diamond earrings that dangled from each of her ears, made her appear not only respectable but mature. For once, she looked exactly as he imagined a proprietor of an elite institution should look.

Katherine Elizabeth definitely knew how to make an entrance.

“Thank you Everett,” she replied, flashing him a dazzling smile and hooking her hand through Goren’s offered arm. “I think we all are looking rather fine tonight. But let’s go inside before I start shivering, shall we?”

Once inside, Fray led them over to the coat check as he wanted to make sure everything was in order before he went back over to his station next to the door.

Making a bit of small talk, the director mentioned, “I’m glad to see that you managed to arrive before most of the guests. Though, technically, you are still late.”

“Please,” Basil teased as she handed the stole she had been wearing to the attendant, “we weren’t late. Nor early, we arrived precisely when we meant to.”

Hearing this, Goren began to chuckle. “Kiddo, you can’t just steal quotes from movies and pass them off as your own.”

“It’s not from the movie it’s from the book.”

“That quote isn’t in the book. You would know had you actually read it.”

“Are the two of you quite finished?” Fray interjected, interrupting the pair’s banter. “I would appreciate it if both of you acted with more decorum. And Robert, please, refer to Miss Basil by something more appropriate than ‘kiddo’ if you will.”

“Of course, Doctor Fray,” Bobby replied smartly.

Changing the subject, the director directed his next comment to Basil.

“I see you decided to bring your grandfather’s Aston Martin tonight. Must’ve been exciting for Mr. Goren here to get a chance to drive such a stunning vehicle.”

“Actually,” Katherine Elizabeth replied nonchalantly, “I gave it to Bobby for his birthday.”

“You what?!”

Fray managed to tone down the second half of his outcry but he was so surprised that he could’ve been pushed over with a feather. That car wasn’t just any car, that was Roger’s baby. He had loved that car. He had loved that car more than he loved his wife, Helen. Which, honestly, was a little telling at the time since they later had a very bitter divorce. Still, the idea of Katherine Elizabeth just giving away one of her grandfather’s prized possession seemed entirely out of character for her.

“No offense Robert,” Fray tempered his remark, “but Katherine Elizabeth, that car is easily worth half a million dollars. You just can’t give it away on a whim.”

“Everett,” Basil coolly replied, “it’s just a car. If you really want to talk about it later, we can. But for now, why don’t you go back to your post and greet our guests. Bobby and I are going to mingle and do some schmoozing. See if we can’t rustle up some donations, alright?”

Not waiting to hear his response, the proprietor strode off into the crowd of guests, smiling and greeting everyone as she went.

“It’s not like she put it in my name. I just get to drive it,” Goren explained quickly before he too departed, following a few steps behind Katherine Elizabeth.

***

Half an hour in, Bobby was feeling more at ease than he had when they first arrived. Guests were casually milling about: eating, drinking, having their pictures taken by the professional photographer, making small talk, or dancing to the music being played by the string quartet.

Katherine Elizabeth was making her way through the room, greeting each guest cordially while engaging in bits and pieces small talk along the way. His position by her side was rarely questioned and when it did come up, his sister was quick to say he was an old family friend staying with her while he was working on research for a book. Any further inquiries were quickly dismissed as Katherine Elizabeth would jokingly say that he was still researching what to research.

Goren simply stood back and smiled and nodded at the appropriate times. A task that would’ve been harder to accomplish had Basil told them he was a former detective for the NYPD. It wasn’t as if someone who had only held blue-collar jobs was typically welcome at these sorts of event. By saying he was a writer, she had turned him from an oddity to someone more pedantic, at least for this crowd.

Grateful that she was doing her best to take some of that pressure off him that social intentions still posed, he left her side and sidled up to the bar to return the favor. Both he and Katherine Elizabeth knew that a woman seen without a drink in hand during such a function was basically an encouragement for well-meaning guests to offer to get her a beverage. The last thing his sister needed was to inadvertently drink alcohol and then vomit uncontrollably at her own party. Consequently, she had assigned him to the task of ensuring that would not happen.

Making sure the man behind the bar saw him slipping a Benjamin into the tip jar, Bobby asked for a glass of jus pétillant and a tumbler of Arkay. Nodding knowingly, the bartender quickly provided him with a champagne flute of sparkling white grape juice and the non-alcoholic spirit.

With the drinks in hand, Goren wandered over to where Katherine Elizabeth was standing, speaking to two persons that both appeared to be about her same age, unlike the majority of the other guests. One of the pair was a pregnant woman with long stick-straight brown hair and her companion was a lean blond male. Though they didn’t appear out of place, something about them was clearly bothering his sister as the smile she had plastered on her face on all evening was starting to slip.

“Ah, Bobby,” Katherine Elizabeth said as he joined them, taking the glass he offered from his hand, “thank you. I had wondered where you had run off to.”

The man she had been talking to laughed and playfully chided, “You shouldn’t end sentences in a preposition, Kate.”

Clearing her throat, Basil ignored his comment and said, “Eric, I’d like you to meet my friend, Mr. Robert Goren. Bobby this is Eric Wilson and his wife Isabella. We knew each other back in college.”

“Oh, old friends then?” Bobby asked.

Isabella answered, “More than that, Katherine Elizabeth here and Eric were engaged.”

“Engaged?” Bobby wondered aloud, “Like engaged to be married?”

Clearly uncomfortable, Basil shifted her feet and took a long drink from the glass in her hand.

Eric chuckled, “We were young. We didn’t really know what we wanted.”

“Oh you certainly knew what you wanted,” Katherine Elizabeth replied, the bitterness in her tone unmistakable.

The look on the younger man’s face soured and he was about to say something when Bobby decided to change the direction of the conversation.

“I hope you don’t mind me making assumptions, but if I didn’t know better, Isabella, I’d say you’re expecting. When’s the baby due?”

“March,” she replied, rubbing her baby-bump tenderly. It’s a boy.”

“Congratulations,” Katherine Elizabeth added, though her tone indicated that her sentiment was less than sincere.

Sensing it would be better to split them up before tensions got higher, Goren decided to steer his sister away from the situation.

Cocking his head to the side and listening to the music, he noted, “Oh, I rather like this song. I hope you two don’t mind me stealing Miss Basil away for a dance. It was nice meeting you both.”

“You as well,” Eric replied.

Before Katherine Elizabeth could say another word, Bobby had taken a hold of her arm and gently guided her over to the dance floor.

“Do you even know how to dance?” she asked, pausing to place her glass and then his on the tray of a passing waiter.

“I’m a grown man,” he replied, taking the lead and placing his left hand in her right, “of course I know how to dance.”

A simple waltz began and Katherine Elizabeth remained silent for a few moments before she confessed, “Thank you for saving me back there. I didn’t realize they had been invited. Guess I should’ve looked closer at the guest list before I had Fray approve it.”

“Mmm,” Goren murmured knowingly.

“You’re not going to ask?”

“Ask about what?”

“About Eric.”

“Do you want me to?” Bobby inquired since their close proximity allowed for a semi-private conversation.

Basil sighed as she leaned in against his chest.

“He broke up with me,” she confessed.

“College... so how old were you? Early twenties, right? That’s not so unusual. Don’t feel bad about it. Okay, kiddo?”

“He broke up with me when he found out I couldn’t have kids. Told me his family line was more important than our relationship.”

A red flicker of anger curled up in Goren’s chest at hearing this. After all their late-night chats, he knew full well what Barrett and Kipling had done to his little sister and sterilizing her was just the tip of the iceberg. The fact that she could not have children of her own was in no way her fault. And that this schmuck had decided it was reason enough to break up with her was literally adding insult to injury. To compound the matter, this ex-fiancé had decided to attend the function with his _pregnant_ wife and practically rubbed it in Katherine Elizabeth’s face.

“He doesn’t seem like a very honorable fellow,” Bobby said softly. “I’m glad you didn’t marry him.”

“ _Hmm_ ,” his sister hummed in agreement.

Feeling like the matter had been settled, the two of them departed the dance floor when the song was over and continued to mingle with the guests. Several attendees seemed to enjoy chatting about past parties that had been held while the late Doctor Basil had still been alive and Katherine Elizabeth appeared to be more than happy to indulge their reminiscences. Talking about her grandfather was something the young proprietor excelled at doing. Not to mention it was an easy segue into discussing ways to continue his legacy through philanthropic donations.

Despite himself, Goren was starting to rather enjoy the feeling of participating in a group setting with other adults that didn’t require the supervision of a licensed psychologist; not that there weren’t plenty of those floating around the room. The thought had just crossed his mind when one of his former councilors approached him.

“Bobby,” Justin Taylor called, pulling Goren away from Basil’s side. “It’s good to see you here.”

“It’s not like I’m not here every Thursday afternoon for group,” Bobby replied quietly so no one besides Taylor could hear him.

A soft smile colored Taylor’s face as he continued, “I mean it’s good to see you in a different context. Things have definitely changed since we first met. It’s like you’re a new man, wearing fancy suits, rubbing elbows with millionaires, driving a car worth more than a house...”

“Oh,” Goren remarked, “The car isn’t—“

“Did she really give it to you?” Taylor asked, his tone containing not disbelief but seeking clarification.

“Kinda,” Bobby said with a shrug.

Taylor was clearly confused as he wondered aloud, “But she’s...”

“Malicious?” Goren finished sarcastically, recalling the word the councilor had once used to describe Miss Basil. “Katherine Elizabeth is perfectly capable of being generous and kind when she’s not on the defense. Maybe if you and the rest of the staff didn’t call her a bitch behind her back, you would know that.”

“Oh,” Taylor muttered, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...”

“No,” Bobby returned with a shake of his head, “I’m sure you didn’t. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

Not wanting to continue the conversation, Bobby pushed past the councilor and began to absentmindedly wander around the lobby. Eventually, he made his way back over to the bar. There were times he really wished he could drink and now was definitely one of them. A fact he contemplated while eyeing the bottle of Glenlivet whiskey sitting on the shelf behind the bartender.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” he replied as Katherine Elizabeth, who seemingly had completely shaken off the run-in with her ex and was now in high spirits, came to stand next to him.

“You doing okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“No reason. Just checking in. Anyway, I’m going to go dance with a few donors, so if you need me...”

“I’ll come find you, don’t worry.”

“Good. Okay, see you in a bit. Oh, and I’m supposed to give my speech in like half an hour so be sure to stick around,” she said with a wink before departing.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he called after her with a smile.

Sighing, Goren watched her leave. He’d like to go with her but he doubted his ability to find a dance partner. Besides, Basil was the focus of attention at this party and he preferred staying inconspicuous as possible. For that reason, it was probably for the best that he gave Katherine Elizabeth space.

Taking the opportunity to head over to the restrooms, Bobby decided it would be best to make use of the facilities before Katherine Elizabeth’s speech. Pushing the swinging door of the men’s room open, he was a bit relieved that no one else was in there.

“ _Bobby_ ,” he scolded himself, annoyed that there was still part of him that worried about walking intorooms where there was a possibility of running into strange men, “ _will you knock it off?_ ’

Grumbling, Goren wondered if there would ever be a time where he would no longer find himself at odds with the coping mechanisms that had helped him survive his time with Barrett and Kipling.

“ _Probably just a side-effect from so much social interaction,”_ he thought as he employed a deep breath and a shake of the head, dismissing the concerns bubbling to the surface.

Quick about his business, he was already finished and washing his hands by the time another guest entered the bathroom. Goren didn’t give the matter much thought until it became apparent that the other man hadn’t moved since the door had swung shut behind him. By the looks of him, the man was probably fifteen years Goren’s senior. But just because the man was older, didn’t mean his odd behavior was excusable.

Inexplicably, the man decided to address Goren directly, “You’re Miss Basil’s date, aren’t you?”

Flicking the water off his hands, Bobby replied dryly, “I’m not her date, just a friend.”

“Friends, huh?” the man taunted perniciously. “Is that what they are calling it these days?”

Turning abruptly to face the man, Bobby really did not appreciate the look with which he had been a fixed.

“Well, in the past,” the man continued, “her _friends_ have always been about her own age. Looks to me as if whatever service she uses ran out of boys and decided to send her a man instead. She must’ve gotten quite the discount.”

The color drained from Goren’s face as he quickly realized to which type of service the man was alluding. Feeling like this situation was beginning to be dreadfully reminiscent of ones he had experienced in Chicago, he couldn’t prevent tendrils of fear from rising up and grabbing a hold of his heart. It was all he could do to keep scared little Bobby from coming to the surface.

Without much time to address the turmoil rising within him, Goren did his best to push down the fear back down and tried to lock onto something he hadn’t needed to use in ages.

Tight-lipped, he said, “I assure you, you are mistaken.”

“Am I?” The man asked, his eyebrow raised. “Because I, for one, can appreciate the services of someone such as yourself.”

Shocked by what was being insinuated, Goren still felt torn between wanting to run and fighting the urge to punch the man in the face. Unable to make a decision in the few seconds he had, he froze.

Walking closer, the man was about a foot away when he asked, “How much?”

Shaking his head, Goren stepped backward and swiftly found himself with his back against the wall.

“ _What are you doing?”_ he berated himself _. “You’re not a victim anymore. Don’t act like one!”_

Once again, the man came closer, extending a hand and placing on the wall, next to Bobby’s left side.

Leaning in, he murmured seductively, “Come now, don’t be shy.”

Casting a sideways glance at the mirror off to his right, Bobby could almost see the end of this humiliating scenario unfolding before him. It was this image that finally triggered the indomitable instinct that he been grasping at moments earlier.

Locking in on the man with an unblinking stare, Goren drew himself to his full height and growled, “Back off.”

Fists balled-up tight, he was readying himself to take a swing at the man if necessary. And just as the older man’s determination was faltering, the door to the bathroom swung open in the nick of time.

Looking up and seeing a familiar face, Bobby felt a flood of relief suddenly wash over him.

“Detective Goren,” came Dr. Fray’s timbered tone, “is everything alright?”

The man soliciting him immediately dropped his hand and back away, his face going the color of porridge.

Not wanting to stick around, Goren pushed past the man and rushed over to Fray, who was holding the door open.

“Meet me by the offices,” Fray said quietly. “I’ll be there in a moment.”

Making his way out the door, Bobby heard Fray say to the man, “Perhaps it would be best ifyou and your wife should leave before I call security...”

***

His blood still boiling, Everett Fray made his way down the back hallway as to avoid the guests in the lobby. Angry at himself for allowing such a man to be invited onto the premise, he still hadn’t calmed down by the time he reached his office and the expectant patient waiting beside the door. Pulling his keys from his pocket, his hands shook as he unlocked his office door and ushered Goren inside the room.

Once inside and the door closed behind them, Fray asked, “Are you okay?”

“Um... yeah,” Goren muttered. “I’m fine.”

“He didn’t touch you, did he?”

“No.”

Breathing just a small sigh of relieve, Fray slumped down into a chair.

“I’m sorry, Robert. I really am. He’s out of the building now, if that’s of any consequence. I knew Mr. Bellingston had a reputation of being an old lecher but I didn’t think he’d be arrogant enough to make a pass at someone in public. Had I known —“

“He thought I was an escort,” Goren interrupted.

“Oh,” Fray replied, horrified that someone had mistaken Robert Goren for a prostitute in one moment and then realizing that Miss Basil’s proclivities must not be much of a secret these days in the next.

“Katherine Elizabeth brought Colin Jones last year, didn’t she?” Goren asked.

“You know about Colin?”

“Do I know about Colin?” the former detective snorted sarcastically as he too took a seat. “Do I ever. I _live_ with Katherine Elizabeth, remember?”

“Yes, well...” Fray started but was unsure of what to say next. “I’m sorry, Robert. I should’ve warned you. Given your history, I can see how what just transpired can bring up some traumatic memories.”

Staring down at his hands, his tone distant, Goren replied, “I’m not saying it didn’t but...”

“But?” Fray prodded.

“But maybe it triggered more than just memories of Chicago.”

“Such as?”

“I don’t know, Doctor Fray,” Goren replied. “I nearly punched the guy and I sure as hell wouldn’t have done that a couple of years ago.”

“What about five years ago?” the psychiatrist asked. “Would you have punched him then?”

“Probably,” Goren admitted.

“Robert, while I appreciate you not resorting to violence, I think it best if you—”

“I told you, I’m fine.”

“Robert...” Fray pushed back, more concerned about the patient’s mental state than anything else.

“You called me ‘detective’,” Goren muttered.

“What?”

“You called me ‘Detective Goren.’ I haven’t heard you call me that in a very long time.”

Caught off guard by the question, Fray stumbled in his response.

“Yes, well, um... I just wanted to get Bellingston away from you as quickly as possible.”

“I appreciate that,” Goren replied, “but I don’t think he would’ve propositioned me in the first place if I still was one.”

“Still a detective? No, you’re right. He probably wouldn’t have.”

“Then maybe I should go back to being a detective,” Goren said.

Not sure whether or not the man was being serious or just thinking out loud, Fray cleared his throat and stated, “I don’t think right now is the best time for such a discussion.”

“Of course not,” Goren replied, getting to his feet and straightening out his tux. “Katherine Elizabeth is going to give her speech any minute now and we both should be there.”

“Robert!” The psychiatrist said, almost startled. “What are you talking about? You don’t have to stay. I can—“

“I promised her,” Goren cut in, “I wouldn’t miss it. I’m not breaking that promise.”

“But—“

“I told you I’m fine,” the man insisted once more as he walked over and opened the door. “Now let’s go.”

Pushing himself to a standing position, Fray carefully eyed the former detective. Breathing, pallor, movement, and stature appeared to be within the normal range lending support to Goren’s claim of being ‘fine.’

“Okay, Robert,” Fray relented. “I’m coming.”

“One last thing,” Goren said as the doctor locked his office, “can we not tell Katherine Elizabeth what happened? I don’t want her getting upset.”

Glancing at his watch, Fray decided not to argue as time was not on his side. Apart from that, he didn’t relish the idea of having to tell Miss Basil her Bobby nearly got assaulted in the bathrooms.

“Fine, I won’t tell her. But you’re right, we do have to get going.”

“Oh?”

“Miss Basil might be the one giving the speech but who do you think is supposed to do the introduction?”

Goren chuckled softly as he followed behind the director as they made their way back into the lobby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you look at that? It's been less than a month since my last update :) 
> 
> Finally, I'm getting time to work on this story. Now if I can just stay motivated... ( _psst... comments and kudos are great motivators_ )
> 
> P.S. I'm not sure how obvious it is in the story but I am trying to convey the passage of time rather subtly. This chapter is taking place in January where as the last chapter was October. Keep an eye out for these hints as the time between chapters varies. If you have questions, you can always ask :)


	13. Pulling the Trigger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goren has figured out what he wants to do ... now he just has to tell those most important to him.

“You sure you don’t want to drive?” Bobby asked his little sister as they sat at the red light.

“Sheesh,” Katherine Elizabeth replied, “it’s bad enough that you forced me to learn how to drive in this piece of junk. Do you have to add insult to injury by making me drive it back to your friend’s place?”

The low hum of the old Mazda’s engine, which Bobby had borrowed from an old mechanic friend for the past six-months, suddenly sputtered as if it was offended.

“I didn’t force you,” Goren shot back with a smirk. “Besides, now that you finally have your license, you don’t need to rely on other people to take you places.”

“Whatever, Bobby,” Basil said with a roll of her eyes.

Leaning forward and fiddling with a knob on the console to turn up the music, Katherine Elizabeth kicked her feet up on the dash and began to sing along with the song piping through the speakers. Her tone was flat and out of key but Bobby didn’t mind. Within a few minutes, a smile crept on her lips and Bobby could see that dimple on the side of her cheek become more and more evident as she began to dance in her seat. She swayed her shoulders back-n-forth and expressively used her hands and arms as the words of the song invoked movement.

“ _Give ‘em here, give ‘em here_ ,” she sang in time with the song.

Goren wasn’t familiar with this particular tune but at least, for once, his sister wasn’t insisting on listening to the latest Taylor Swift album on repeat.

“ _I don’t care_ ,” Basil warbled the refrain, “ _where you’ve been. How many miles, I still love you_.”

As he drove, Bobby listened closely to the song. It wasn’t exactly his type of music but for some reason or another, the words really spoke to him. By the time the song was over, he knew it was time to finally tell her.

“I want to go back to work,” he said, loudly enough for her to hear him over the music.

“What?” Katherine Elizabeth asked, seeking clarification as she leaned forward, dropping her feet into the footwell, and turning down the music.

“I said I want to go back to work,” Bobby repeated.

“No, I heard that. I mean, what do you mean you want to go back to work? You know…” she hesitated momentarily before continuing. “You know jobs are challenging and considering how long you’ve been out of the workforce, you might have troubling finding one.”

“I’m still technically on leave from the NYPD.”

Katherine Elizabeth was smart, she knew what he meant. But for some reason, she wasn’t exactly in his corner on this issue. Instead, she tried to put him off the idea.

“You haven’t worked in four years, Bobby. You can’t just pick up where you left off.”

Shrugging, he replied, “I don’t see why not.”

Goren could practically feel her rolling her eyes at him.

Groaning she said, “Is this about money? Because you know, I’ve got those bases covered.”

Scoffing, Bobby noted, “It’s not, least not for the most part. But even if it was, you think I like feeling beholden to you? Do you really fault me for wanting to be a bit more independent?”

Basil, it seemed, didn’t appreciate his feedback on the matter. So, instead, she persisted in her efforts to change his mind.

“They are not going to let you back on the force,” she said with a sigh. “I hate to say it, Bobby, but you’ve been through too much mental, emotional, and physical trauma to pass all the requirements to be a cop again. Besides, why would you want to work for the police department? They didn’t even take notice when you were abducted.”

“People noticed,” he grumbled. “And the reason I want to go back to work is that I miss it, Katherine Elizabeth. I miss the challenge, I miss the atmosphere, I miss feeling useful.”

“I …” Basil began but trailed off.

“Listen,” Bobby said with hesitation. “Please don’t be mad. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I’m certain it’s what I want to do.”

“There’s no talking you out of this, is there?” she relented, leaning back and looking away from him. “If it’s what you want. I won’t stand in your way but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Kiddo?”

“Hmm?”

“Love you.”

“Love you too, Bobby,” she replied before turning the music back on, louder than it had been before.

***

Sitting at the top of the stairs, Katherine Elizabeth absentmindedly twirled the ends of her hair in her fingers. She was preoccupied with listening in on the conversation her brother was having with his former partner and consequently, her focus was not on suppressing the nervous energy coursing through her veins. Any concern she might have about the fact that Bobby would be less than thrilled that she was eavesdropping was overshadowed by her curiosity regarding Alexandra Eames’ reaction to what Bobby was planning on telling her.

That is if Bobby ever got around to telling her.

The sounds of Eames’ voice softly reverberated against the walls and made their way up the stairwell.

“You sure you don’t want to stay in today? The weather’s not great and I wouldn’t mind just sitting around for once.”

Bobby’s response was typical Bobby. He knew what he wanted but preferred to go the congenialroute instead of being confrontational.

“No, yeah. You’re right. I mean, we can if you want but I thought this might be fun.”

“But a gun range?” Eames replied, her tone full of skepticism. “Bobby, that’s not exactly my idea of fun these days.”

“It’s indoors,” Bobby reasoned.

Katherine Elizabeth could hear the exasperation in the Lieutenant’s voice as Eames replied, “Why do you want to go shoot guns, of all things? Is there something going on? Are you worried about being able to protect yourself?”

“Not really. I just want to see if I can. Last time I had the opportunity, there hadn’t been damage done to my hand.”

“Oh,” Eames noted. “Well, maybe you could try using your right.”

“Yeah,” Bobby replied with a laugh, “because I’ve suddenly become ambidextrous.”

“I wouldn’t put it past you. But why haven’t you tried earlier? Surely you could’ve gone with Miss Basil.”

“Katherine Elizabeth won’t go with me.”

“Why not?”

“She has a moral objection to firearms.”

Eames laughed and Katherine Elizabeth, who was still sitting unobserved at the top of the stairs, felt her stomach clench unpleasantly.

“A moral objection?!” Eames retorted. “I doubt that she has a _moral_ objection to anything.”

Wishing that her brother would at least speak up on her behalf, Basil was rather disappointed when he brushed Eames’ impertinence aside and continued on with the conversation.

“Do you want to go or not?” Bobby pushed.

“Yes. We can go,” Eames said, finally relenting. “Just let me grab my jacket.”

“Sure thing. If you want to hop in the car, I’ll be out in a minute. I’m just going to dash upstairs quick and tell Katherine Elizabeth we’re going.”

“Okay. But I’m driving.”

Hearing this, Katherine Elizabeth lurched to her feet, not wanting to be caught. Walking quickly back to her room, she flinched with every creak of the wooden floorboards. However, when Bobby got to her room, she could tell by the look on his face that he had heard her footfalls skittering down the hallway as he had ascended the stairs.

“Were you eavesdropping?”

“No…” Katherine Elizabeth replied, wishing she didn’t sound so guilty.

“You know I can tell when you’re lying, right?” Bobby questioned with a smirk.

“Sorry,” she apologized. “I just wanted to hear what Eames has to say when you tell her.”

“You want her to tell me ‘no,’ don’t you?”

Katherine Elizabeth shrugged, not wanting to voice her feelings on the matter.

Goren stalked over to where she was sitting on the bed. Reaching out to pull her just a tad closer, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head.

“Listen, kiddo,” he said, his voice soft and tinged with emotion, “I have to take it one step at a time. Okay? I’m going to try and tell her but I’ve got to work up the nerve first.”

Pulling away, Katherine Elizabeth simply gave him a small nod before giving him a little shove as an indication for him to be on his way.

***

Standing back, Goren’s stomach fluttered unpleasantly as he watched Eames fire round after round at the paper silhouette in the distance. Even with ear protection, the sound reverberated through his core and down to the bones. Still, it wasn’t the sound of gun hots preoccupying his mind. No, instead it was the conversations he had had with Katherine Elizabeth and the upcoming conversation he was bracing himself to have with Eames.

“Bobby!”

“Oh,” Goren startled, realizing Eames was calling to him and waving him over.

“What you think?” she said, holding up the paper silhouette, the distinct bullet holes bunched together at the center of the figure’s chest and head.

A low whistle flew from his lips as Bobby admired his form partner’s aim.

“You’ve always been a great shot,” he complimented.

“Damn straight,” Eames remarked, playfully punching him in the arm. “Why don’t you take a crack at it?”

Bring his left hand up, he stretched it tentatively. Eames took it in her own hands and rubbed the faint scars on his palm.

“What happened, Bobby? Will you tell me?”

“You know what happened,” he equivocated, “broken bones and sliced sinew.”

“Bobby…” Eames prodded.

“I… um… misbehaved.”

“You? Never,” she said, bemusedly and with a raised eyebrow.

Goren knew what she was doing, trying to make a little joke in the hope that he’d open up with her a bit more. He really didn’t want to tell her but at the same time, he needed her to feel like he was capable of moving on from what had occurred in Chicago.

“It didn’t happen at the same time. The bones were because I … um… used a rather indelicate slur.”

“What slur?”

Even now, Bobby felt terrible for having said it.

“A three-letter word for gay men. Starts with an F,” he answered.

“You didn’t?” Eames gasped, though Bobby could tell she wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Some turmoil he had felt, in regards to that particular incident, seemed to fade away at the moment. And covering his mouth with his hand, Goren hid a sheepish grin.

“Sometimes I forget,” he said, “I forget how obstinate I was those first few months.”

“I don’t doubt it. But you didn’t get this scar,” Eames noted, tracing the thin line down from the base of his fingers on to his palm, “by simply being contradictory.”

“I got it for being stupid.”

Furrowing her brow, Eames asked, “How do you mean?”

“I … uh… didn’t have access to the ‘sharps’ when I was upstairs. So I wasn’t expecting there to be a knife in the murky water of the sink while I was doing the dishes.”

Eames’ face paled.

“So it was an accident? Jeez, Bobby, that’s almost worse because —“

“Because,” Goren finished for her, “it’s something that could’ve happened to anyone. I know, but I guess I was lucky Barrett was able to stitch me back up.”

“Yeah…” Eames replied but trailed off as though she didn’t want to admit that there was ever a time where having a person like Lee Barrett around was actually fortunate.

Sighing, Goren picked up the gun Eames had laid off to the side and ushered her out of the booth before changing the Glock’s clip. He had always preferred the semi-automatic pistol over revolvers, they were much easier to handle for a leftie, such as himself.

First wrapping his dominant hand around the grip and resting his index finger along the barrel, Goren then placed the palm of his right hand on the exposed portion of the handle before then adjusted his hands so his right fingers fitted around his left. Shooting with accuracy and precision meant remaining in control of the recoil. And since the recoil of the gun followed the path of least resistance, it was essential to maintain full-coverage and a firm hold on the grip of the gun.

This wasn’t an arcade game and he wasn’t some young thug trying to look cool by turning the gun on its side and attempting to shoot from that position.

Instead, he placed his feet a shoulder-width apart, made sure to keep his knees slightly bent, squared his shoulders, and leaned forward. Only when he was in the proper position, did he extend his arms and take aim. Steadying his breath, he laced his index finger around the trigger and pulled.

The loud bangs and the smell of gun powder triggered his muscle memory and he easily fell into a comfortable and familiar rhythm. It wasn’t long before the rounds were spent and he too had a paper silhouette to examine.

‘What do you think,” Bobby said, holding up the bullet-riddled paper. “Good enough to pass the qualifying requirements for active duty?”

Taking a close look at it, Eames answered with a shrug, “Probably, not that it matters.”

“Matters to me.”

Giving him a sideways look, Eames asked him to clarify.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Goren said with hesitation, “I mean I was wondering if you could help me make a call.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in the beginning of this chapter is Watsky's [Sloppy Seconds](https://youtu.be/VCEsveSK5to). I highly recommend giving it a listen (but be aware that it is laced with expletives so don't listen to it in a room with others).
> 
> Also, for some reason in Chapter 10 I had Colin mention Katherine Elizabeth driving when she had only just got her learner's permit. I had to go back and clarify that in that chapter. 
> 
> And, as always, please consider leaving me a comment.


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